Forever
by pl2363
Summary: Regardless AU setting; The past and present collide in an unexpected way. Will Prowl and Optimus' love for one another endure, despite the huge obstacle that the Matrix poses for them? *slash*
1. Light and Dark

Title: Forever – Light and Dark

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T+

Notes: Optimus Prime x Prowl. The past and present collide in an unexpected way. Will Prowl and Optimus' love for one another endure, despite the huge obstacle that the Matrix poses for them?

Primus story is based in part from Marvel comics, but altered to fit with Regardless Universe. The concept of the Matrix making bonding impossible already used in my previous fic 'A Little Love to Ease the Pain'.

Title taken from "Wandering Star" by Portishead:

_"Please could you stay awhile to share my grief,  
For it's such a lovely day,  
To have to always feel this way,  
And the time that I will suffer less,  
Is when I never have to wake."_

Thank you to Mirage Shinkiro & Starfire201 for taking the time to beta for me.

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them

* * *

"Primus looked to his brother and asked, 'Why do you lurk in darkness? Why do insist on bringing chaos to this universe?' Unicron answered, 'Without darkness, dear brother, no one would ever see the light.' Primus knew his brother was right, but he still distrusted him. Primus wanted light to shine in all corners of the universe, even the one his brother occupied." Mirage paused his story telling and smiled down at Miles, who was staring up at him with wide optics. Jazz sat on the rec room couch beside his mate and sparkling, also listening to Mirage as he recited the old Cybertronian myth about Primus.

Prowl found a nearby seat on the facing couch and watched the young family, feeling both happy and sad as he took in the scene before him. Jazz was his best friend. They had fought side-by-side and endured a lot together over the eons, cementing a very close-knit friendship. Unlike other mechs in Prowl's life, Jazz had remained a true friend through everything, accepting Prowl just as he was while also pushing him to be his best. When Jazz announced he bonded to Mirage, Prowl was happy for his friend as well as a little jealous. For Jazz and Mirage, it had been an easy path to walk from lovers to bondmates to parents. For Prowl, his path was riddled with pitfalls that prevented him from ever having a bonded relationship with the one he was in love with, Optimus.

"They parted ways, each taking a different path through the universe. Primus saw a great many things that were both beautiful as well as curious. He also saw the trail of destruction, chaos and darkness his brother left behind. Wanting to protect the universe and all the things he loved in it, he challenged his brother to a battle. Even though they were twins, Primus was no match for the brute strength darkness lent his brother. Just before he lost the battle, Primus formed a brilliant plan, using the power of light to transform both their forms."

"What did they turn into?" Miles asked as he grabbed hold of Mirage's arm and hugged it to his chest.

"He transformed them both from star-sized beings with heads, arms and legs into round metallic planets," Mirage replied.

"Whoooa, really?" Miles sounded quite impressed.

Prowl smiled, enjoying Miles' reactions to the story.

"Primus formed our home world, Cybertron," Jazz explained.

Miles swiveled his head to look up at Jazz. "That's awesome!"

"A-hem—Unicron was angered by his brother's trick and vowed to bring darkness wherever he went, even in his new form," Mirage politely interrupted, taking back the reins as storyteller. "In order to continue protecting the universe, Primus then created 12 beings and placed a piece of his spark inside each one to bring them to life. Since he couldn't give more of his spark without perishing, he made sure they had the ability to procreate. These 12 Cybertronians all had families that in turn had families, creating generations upon generations of new sparks. Exhausted from his creative process Primus fell into a deep stasis, but before he did he told his original creations that his body was theirs to care for, offering it to them to provide sustenance and a safe place to live while they fought on his behalf to keep the light in universe safe from the darkness. That's how our species was created."

"Wooow," Miles replied.

Prowl remembered his adoptive parent telling him the same story when he was small. It triggered such a sense of awe and wonder to him back then. He used to sometimes crouch down in the backyard of their home, pat the ground under his feet and thank Primus for giving him a place to live. In retrospect it seemed rather silly, but seeing Miles have such a similar reaction reminded him what it was like to be a sparkling. The world still seemed so fresh and new. Anything seemed possible.

A small spike of pain pulsed within his spark. To Prowl, the tangible hope for the future he once held had slipped out of reach. No matter how much he loved Optimus, it didn't change the fact they could never bond to one another. That he would never know a life like the one his best friend had with his family. Not that he should be surprised; after all, very few things in his life had ever come easily to him.

"You wanna join us, Prowler? We're gonna have some energon and play a board game after," Jazz asked, putting on his most charming smile for Prowl.

"Yeah! Stay and play with me Prowl!" Miles added as he bounced where he sat.

Prowl canted his head at them, then nodded once. "Of course."

…

Optimus stared blankly at the datapad in his lap, finding himself too distracted to focus. He kept glancing at the door to his new quarters on the Earth base, wondering where Prowl was. They had established a pattern of spending their evenings and nights together, and it well past the usual time Prowl would arrive. Optimus considered contacting him over the comm. frequency, but he didn't want to appear over-eager to see Prowl. He already felt like he was walking a fine line, trying to not crush Prowl under the immense love he felt for him. He often worried that his inability to offer his spark to him would eventually lead to their relationship ending, just like it had with Elita. When she had called an end to things, Optimus had been hurt; there was no denying that. Comparing his feelings for Prowl now against what he had felt for her back then, though, he knew that the love he felt for Prowl was far more intense than anything he'd once felt for Elita. He honestly didn't know how he would handle it if Prowl left him for the same reasons.

He pressed a hand to his chest, silently wishing he could be free from his obligation to the Matrix. It stood in the way of a 'normal' life by preventing him from ever spark bonding to Prowl.

The door to his quarters suddenly whooshed open, interrupting his thoughts, and Prowl entered. A small subtle smile played across Prowl's lips as they locked gazes.

"I apologize. Miles begged me to play a board game with them." Prowl strode over to the couch Optimus occupied and gracefully sat down beside him.

Optimus snaked an arm around Prowl's waist, pulling him to press against his side. "Miles, hm? He's a hard sparkling to say 'no' to."

"He certainly is." Prowl relaxed against Optimus as he turned sideways to allow his doorwings to swing behind him. He then fingered the edge of the datapad Optimus held. "Interesting reading material?"

Glancing at the datapad, Optimus found his focus shift to the striking white color of Prowl's fingers. His optics' gaze trailed up the black and white arm to the star emblazed shoulder, eventually coming to a halt as his and Prowl's gazes met once again. "You are far more fascinating."

Prowl raised an optic ridge. "Am I now?" he said in a disbelieving tone, his doorwings perking up to give away the playful nature of his reply.

"You certainly are," Optimus replied, a broad smile pulling at his exposed lips.

Prowl reached up to rest his hand on Optimus' chest, staring at it as his fingertips lightly pressed against the plating. Guessing at Prowl's thoughts, Optimus lay his hand over Prowl's. "You know I'd give you my spark if I could."

"I know." Prowl pulled his hand away and shifted to curl up against Prime's side, resting his head against Optimus' chest.

A thick silence then filled the room. The playfulness of the moment evaporated, leaving Optimus to silently contemplate the situation they found themselves in. His mind wandered, remembering how honored he once felt to carry the Matrix that now stood between him and a bonded relationship he so desperately wanted with Prowl.

o.o.o

"_Do you know why we have called you here, Optimus?" an elder from the high council asked from his seat at the opposite side of a large conference table._

"_No, sir," Optimus respectfully replied._

"_Sentinel Prime has been killed by Megatron's forces. We convened an emergency meeting to consult the oracle, and your name was the one given as the successor. You are the chosen one to carry the Matrix of Leadership. This is not a duty to be taken lightly." The elders all nodded in agreement with the one that spoke. _

"_I understand the dire nature of the situation and will do my part to ensure the Matrix will be safe," Optimus replied._

"_There are two conditions you must agree to in order to be the next Matrix bearer. One, you must protect the Matrix at all costs. And two, you are not allowed to spark merge, _ever_," one of the other elders explained._

_Optimus frowned, unsure why he would be forbidden to bond. He had been seeing Elita for sometime now, and knew at some point the subject of bonding would probably come up. "While I understand the first condition, I cannot see how bonding would affect-"_

"_The Matrix can only be carried by an untainted spark. If you bond, it will reject you as its carrier and all hope will be lost," another of the elders interrupted._

"_I see." To never bond to Elita or have life with a family was a bitter thing to swallow, but if the war continued to deteriorate their lives further he'd never know that kind of life anyway. Optimus put aside his disappointment, deciding that if it were for the greater good, then he would accept his fate as the Matrix bearer and leader. "Then I agree to the conditions and accept my calling to become the next Prime."_

"_Although these times are indeed a dark, it is not yet the time for the power of the Matrix to be unleashed. Within it is the power to light our darkest moment. When the time is right, you will know when to use it or else it will be passed on once you pass from this world," the elder in the center explained._

"_I understand." _

_Optimus was led out of the elders' chambers and through a series of hallways to a small room where the Matrix was being kept on a small podium only a few meters away from Sentinel's deceased form, lying on a table. _

_The elders gathered around the Matrix, each bowing their heads to it. "Take the Matrix and place it within your chest just over your spark chamber."_

_Optimus did as he was instructed, walking up the small podium the Matrix sat on and lifting it up. A sense of awe overtook him as he stared at it in his hands. Light glowed from deep within it, spilling out the recessed center as it glimmered. This relic was the most powerful item on Cybertron, and it fell to him to look after it. He mentally vowed to the Matrix that he would do what it took to protect it, then opened his chest plates and carefully placed it over his spark chamber. His spark vibrated and shuttered within its chamber from the waves of energy that pulsed from the Matrix. He softly grunted at the vaguely painful sensation. _

"_The Matrix is syncing to your spark, the uncomfortable feeling will pass in less than an orn," an elder said, noticing the slight grimace on Optimus' face. _

_He shut his chest plates, hiding away the treasure within his own body. _

"_Behold, you are now the leader of Cybertron. Lead us to victory over Megatron's dark force, Optimus _Prime_."_

"_I will do my very best to lead us out of these dark times," Optimus replied. _

_He rested a hand over his chest, wondering what kind of leader he was really going to make. He just prayed to Primus he had the strength to lead them to victory over Megatron. _

o.o.o

"Optimus?" He glanced over to see Prowl watching him, concern written across his face. "You all right?"

Optimus reached up to cup Prowl's face and gently run his thumb down Prowl's smooth cheek. "Just caught up in old memories."

"I see." Prowl's optics dimmed as he pressed his face into the hand touching it, then he took hold of Optimus' hand pulled it to the center of his chest. "I love you."

Optimus leaned forward, pressing their helms together. "And I love you."

He angled his head and caught Prowl's lips with his own, initiating a soft-mouthed kiss. Prowl parted his lips, and Optimus took his cue, slipping his glossa past them and delving into Prowl's mouth. Their glossae entwined in the heated space and danced together. Prowl's hand ghosted up and over Optimus' arm, eventually resting at the center of Optimus's chest again. Their long kiss eventually broke, leaving Optimus feeling dazed and happy as he leaned back and stared into Prowl's light blue optics.

"Perhaps we should change locations. It would seem relaxing and talking isn't on the agenda at the moment," Prowl said in an officious tone.

Optimus chuckled, recognizing Prowl's special brand of humor. "Did you have an item you'd like to add to the agenda?" he asked, playing along as he let his fingers lightly trace the curved shape where white paint met black along Prowl's chest.

Prowl canted his head and allowed a small smile to curve his lips. "I propose some quality time on the berth with you and some much desired attention to my doorwings," Prowl replied in a completely dry tone.

Laughing, Optimus leaned back and grabbed the datapad in his lap, tossing it onto the nearby table. "Your request is approved," he replied as he got to his feet.

Before Prowl managed to stand up, Optimus scooped him up off the couch, holding him in his large arms bridal-style. Prowl's optics grew very bright for a moment, betraying his surprise, then dimmed as he relaxed in Optimus' grip. "It's not often I am caught-off guard," Prowl said with a half smile.

Optimus grinned. "I know."

Prowl gazed up at him with nothing short of pure adoration in his optics. Words failed to convey the love Optimus felt for him. If only they could merge sparks, then Optimus could _show_ him. Until he found a way for them to become the bonded couple he wanted them to be, he had to settle for words and actions, hoping that would be enough to ensure Prowl remained by his side.

Taking long strides, Optimus swept into the adjoining room, carrying Prowl to the berth where he gently deposited his love onto its surface. He leaned over Prowl, while still standing, to steal a quick kiss. Pulling back, he stared into Prowl's optics. "I never knew I was capable of loving anyone this much," Optimus said in a hushed voice. Worried that Prowl might one day tire of being a lover and not bondmate, Optimus often repeated himself over and over, telling Prowl how much he loved him.

"Optimus…" Prowl's hand clutched at his own chest as his optics dimmed. "I love you _so_ much."

Sadness pulsed deep within Optimus' spark, knowing that the pain of not being able to bond wasn't his alone. He could see it in Prowl's face at moments like this one. The desperation and desire for something unattainable. His selfish side would often clash with the part of himself that wanted the best for Prowl when he saw that look on his love's face. This was all so unfair to Prowl. He deserved better than this. Someone that could offer their spark to him freely, not like this tortuous love Optimus was starting to feel he had trapped Prowl in. At the same time, Optimus didn't want to let go of Prowl for all the energon in the universe…

He crawled onto the berth beside Prowl, and they both shifted to lie on their sides facing one another. Optimus reached out to trace his fingers along Prowl's sweet face. "I hate that I am hurting you," he whispered.

"I understood the consequences of involving myself with you. Please don't blame yourself." Prowl scooted closer, tucking his face in the crook of Optimus' neck. Optimus wrapped his large arms around Prowl's waist and rolled to his back, pulling Prowl over top of him. The agenda had shifted once again as silence took hold. Their chests pressed together, allowing the vibration from the pulsing of their star-crossed sparks to ripple over their dermal plating where their chest plates touched. So close and so far away.

_This can't go on… I can't stand hurting him like this. But I can't let go of him, either. I love him too much, _thought Optimus as he hugged Prowl tightly. If only there was someway to free his spark from the Matrix inside him. A way to be free to love Prowl the way his spark so desperately wanted to.

…

_Jazz leaned in too close, invading Prowl's personal space. It was bad enough they were crammed into the back of a human's 18-wheel truck trailer, having their battle-damaged frames hauled back to base after helping to end a raid the Decepticons initiated at a nuclear power plant. Now Jazz had his face shoved so close to Prowl's that their noses were practically touching. _

"_What is it, Jazz?" Prowl asked, not bothering to hide his annoyance._

"_When the frag are you gonna tell 'im?" Jazz asked, his visor flashing._

"_Tell who what?" _

"_Tell Prime how ya feel." _

_Prowl allowed a frown to pull at his lips._

"_Look. The 'Cons are not lettin' up. You wanna die never havin' never told him?" Jazz's visor dimmed as he spoke this time._

_Jazz was a romantic. Prowl was not. He stared at his friend, attempting to find words to fend off Jazz's good intentions. "We are anything but dead, Jazz. Besides, it's better to not cause Prime any undo stress."_

_Flicking at a piece of Prowl's gnarled armor, Jazz shook his head. "Listen Prowl, _really listen to me._ I've seen how he looks at ya. It's not one sided. And time is slippin' away. We already lost stellar cycles of time from being in stasis, and the stakes are higher than ever now. Just tell 'im!"_

_Prowl resisted the urge to huff air from his intakes in irritation. Jazz had recently bonded to Mirage and was now on a one-mech mission to make sure Prowl also confessed his feelings to the one he was secretly in love with. Prowl could only surmise that Jazz wanted him to be in a happy relationship just like he was, but Prowl didn't agree that Optimus looked at him any differently than he did the rest of the command staff, no matter how much he wished Jazz was right. "I would prefer we drop this subject."_

_The truck trailer tipped to one side as it took a turn and Jazz's frame crashed against Prowl's, knocking him over and crushing him against the wall of the trailer. Exposed wires in Prowl's hip were pinched between two pieces of misaligned plating thanks to the jarring turn, causing him to yelp out in pain. _

"_Whoa, hey!" Jazz pushed himself off Prowl as the truck stopped turning. "What's hurtin', Prowl?" _

_The pinched wires in his hip seared with heated pain, and Prowl winced. "My hip—Fraggit."_

_With nothing less than a feather-light touch, Jazz quickly located and pulled the wiring free for Prowl. "Better?"_

"_Much." Prowl relaxed his battered frame against the floor of the trailer, gazing up at Jazz. _

"_Look. I know I am pushin' hard. Maybe I shouldn't. But Prowl, yer like a brother to me, and I want ya to be happy," Jazz said, his sincerity ringing in his voice._

"_I know you do." Prowl laid his dirt-smeared hand on Jazz's. "If the opportunity presents itself, I will tell him."_

_Jazz smiled. "Promise?"_

"_Promise."_

_They soon arrived at the base and were unloaded by their comrades from the battle who were still able to transform, Hound and Bumblebee. Prowl made sure to thank the kind humans who transported them back before the whole group proceeded to medbay, where the CMO wasted no time knocking Prowl out once he saw the extent of his damages. _

_Coming out his stasis much later, Prowl was relived that his body no longer ached from its formerly mangled state. He ran a systems check to find Ratchet had already made most of the repairs and that his autorepair system was working to mend the rest of the scrapes that covered his frame. He lit his optics and to his surprise saw Prime sitting in a chair beside his medbay berth._

"_Sir?" Prowl stared at him for a moment, confused by his presence. He then glanced around, seeing he was the sole patient in medbay. He looked back over at Prime. "Where are the others?"_

"_Released. Ratchet kept you in stasis, since your readings indicated that you haven't had a full recharge in several Earth weeks." Prime furrowed his brow as he rubbed one thumb along the center of his battlemask. "How are you feeling?"_

"_Fine, sir." _And also aggravated at the forced recharge time_, he mentally added. Ratchet could really go overboard with his 'care' sometimes. Prowl may have cut back on recharging, but he wasn't improperly functioning and it was _his _call, _not _Ratchet's, as to how much rest he got. _

"_Hm." His commander glanced down for a moment, then back up at Prowl. "I… need to speak with you, Prowl."_

_Momentary panic at Prime's grim-sounding tone spiked through him, but he hid his reaction as best he could. Had something truly horrible happened while he was unconscious? "What is it, sir?"_

_Prime retracted his battlemask, revealing his strikingly handsome face. Prowl felt his fingers slightly twitch and was eternally grateful that he was lying down, since he knew his doorwings would have surely perked up on his back in response to the rare glimpse of Prime's face. _

"_This is something I have been reluctant to say anything about. I planned on never telling you, actually." Prime lowered his gaze to the edge of berth as he laced his fingers in his lap. "After waking from our eons-long stasis, though, everything seems to have taken on a new urgency for me." He looked back up at Prowl, dimming his optics. "This maybe the most selfish thing I ever do, but I feel like I might say something at the wrong moment unless I just go ahead and say it now."_

_Prowl stared at Prime, his panic only rising as Prime spoke. What was his leader alluding to? What was he trying to say? _

"_I…I have been harboring feelings for you for sometime. Feelings that are of a personal nature." Prime suddenly looked a little embarrassed. "Feelings of affection and attraction. If you don't feel the same, I certainly understand. I just needed you to know how I feel about you, in case the next battle ends up being the last battle for either of us."_

_Dumbstruck, Prowl could do nothing more than stare at Prime as his processor ground to a halt at the revelation. Prowl had been secretly in love with Prime since he first came under his command. Prime was everything Prowl wanted in a potential partner, he was large and strong, but also kind-sparked and a thinker. The more time he spent around Prime, the more he fell for him. Back then it had also been a safe crush to have since Prime had been seeing Elita One when Prowl first took his position as SIC. But shortly before leaving Cybertron in search of energy, Jazz informed Prowl the two split up. Having never had a single relationship work out for him in the past, though, Prowl found he was gun-shy, deciding it was better to not let his secret attraction show, preferring to keep himself emotionally safe._

_Suddenly, Prowl frowned as it occurred to him that Jazz had been right. Primus, he was never going to live this down. _And I promised Jazz I'd say something, too,_ he thought to himself. _

_Prime's optics dimmed as he bowed his head looking downward. "Like I said, please don't feel obligated to return my feelings. I just…needed you to know. It's completely selfish of me to tell you like this, and for that I am sorry. I also don't want this to affect our working relationship. As I said, I worry I might act or say something at an inopportune moment if I kept trying to hide how I feel." Prime's whole body seemed to tense._

"_I cannot break my promise," Prowl said and then paused, waiting for Prime to look back at him, but his commander kept his head bowed and gaze fixed on the floor. That's when it occurred to him…_He thinks I am going to reject him?_ Seeing Prime as vulnerable was an unexpected and humbling moment for Prowl. No one, no matter who they were, was immune to the pain that came with interpersonal relationships it seemed. "I've been in love with you since you promoted me to be your SIC." The words had tumbled out of his mouth in a rare moment of exposing his true feelings. It felt like he had just tossed out an emotional grenade, and he hoped it landed where he was aiming. _

_Prime's gaze snapped upward, his optics brightening and mouth gaping slightly. Prowl's spark pulsed wildly as he felt his words hanging in the air between them for the longest astro-second of his life._

"_You…what?" Prime asked, clearly shocked._

_Furrowing his brow, Prowl rallied his courage. It was funny; facing four flying Decepticons in an all out battle didn't seem frightening at all compared to having to confess his feelings. "I, too, have 'feelings of affection and attraction'."_

"_Prowl…" The soft glow of Prime's optics and look of sheer joy that overtook his face was enough to melt away Prowl's remaining fears. _

"_Prime." _

_His commander straightened his posture. "Please don't call me that unless we are on duty. My name is Optimus."_

_Prowl smiled. "Optimus." _

_Optimus reached up and took hold of Prowl's hand, gently squeezing it. The touch of that large blue hand meant the beginning of what Prowl believed in his spark could potentially be a lasting relationship. One that could be as strong as the one Jazz had with Mirage, and he realized this was the happiest he had ever felt in his life. _

o.o.o

Prowl's optics flared on as he woke from his recharge. His optics focused on the red paneling of Optimus' chest in his line of sight, as he mentally sorted through the replayed memory file. He had learned shortly afterward about the complications that the Matrix posed but had assured Optimus that he'd stay at his side.

Allowing Optimus emotionally close to him hadn't happened over night, though. Attraction and love aside, he had to work at dropping the high emotional barriers that he had been erected around his spark and without the ability to bond to Optimus, he knew part of him would always remain somewhat distant out of fear that the floor would fall out from under them. No matter how logically he looked at the situation, reassuring himself that Optimus wasn't the type to ever abandon him, he couldn't change those base, irrational emotions surrounding his fear of loss that was deeply ingrained in spark.

Prowl was acutely aware his behavior had been molded by his sparklinghood and the loss of his creators. It left him always feeling unsure if what he had would remain. Those fears had been made worse when the parent that adopted and cared for him shortly after losing his parents also passed away just after he went away to the Academy. Then the war took over their lives and the only way he could cope with sending those under his command out to possibly never return was to grow distant and try to remain detached. The only reason Jazz managed to push past his emotional barriers had been his persistence coupled with his unrelenting optimism.

He gazed up at Optimus' face from where he lay. He wished things could be simple. _Nothing in my life has been simple, why in the world would this be any different?_ he silently thought.

He shifted his frame, pressing it flush against Optimus' side to allow the warmth of the larger frame to radiate over his dermal plating. The feeling made his sensory net tingle slightly, and he relaxed. At the very least, he needed to enjoy what he did have, not waste his time yearning for something out of his reach. They loved each other. Of that there was no doubt. He just needed to accept that this was as close as he'd ever be to his love, even if it pained his spark.

…

Miles pushed his toy cars around the floor of Optimus' quarters. Prowl had been asked to watch the sparkling for the evening since both Jazz and Mirage had obligations elsewhere. Jazz had the command deck for second shift, while Mirage was off at a car show with the twins and Red Alert, busily working to maintain friendly relations with the humans.

"Vrrrroooom…" Miles rolled a small black and white police car towards a yellow sports car that looked suspiciously like Sunstreaker's alt mode. Prowl found Wheeljack's tendency to make toys for the sparklings that resembled the adult mechs around them rather endearing. "Prowl! You be the yellow one! Make it like he's trying to make a get away, 'kay?"

Prowl smiled, then sat forward in his position on the floor beside Miles, pressing his fingers to the yellow car. Playing wasn't something he was good at, but Miles never seemed to mind. Prowl proceeded to push the yellow car along, and Miles crawled around making various engine noises as his police car gave chase.

The door to the cabin suddenly opened to reveal Optimus' looming figure. "Hello, you two."

Miles sat back on his heels and grinned at Optimus. "Hi! We're playing!"

Optimus triggered his battlemask to open, exposing the smile beneath. "I can see that."

Prowl felt his doorwings twitch upward at the sight of Optimus' handsome face. "Thank you for allowing me to bring Miles to your quarters. My space isn't very sparkling-friendly." Prowl had a collection of Cybertronian natural crystals he had managed to keep from shattering over the eons by storing them in a special container that padded their delicate shapes. Now that the war was over, he was finally able to display them. He found out on Miles first visit to his new quarters that the crystals were not only extremely delicate but also very intriguing for a young sparkling, making for a bad combination that had resulted in a natural crystal casualty.

"These could be your quarters, too, if you so chose," Optimus replied as he canted his head.

Prowl held his love's gaze. "I know." Truth was, he had seriously considered moving in. He already recharged in Optimus quarters and never his own, so making this space his home did seem like the natural progression. That quiet fear deep inside held him back, though. Moving in might be nice, but without being able to bond it felt almost like a hollow act. A lot of what he had with Optimus felt like motions toward a close relationship and yet they weren't ever actually growing any closer, having been blocked by a relic of the past.

"Prowl?" Miles asked as he stared up at him.

"Yes, Miles?" Prowl glanced down at the sparkling in his care.

"I'm hungry," Miles said with a small pouty frown.

"Let me," Optimus replied as he walked over to the corner where the energon dispenser sat. He carefully poured some of the ultra pure energon into a small container for Miles, then walked over and knelt down to hand it to him.

"Thank you!" Miles smiled brightly at Optimus.

"You're more than welcome," Optimus replied as he settled in on the floor with Miles and Prowl. Miles wasted no time once Optimus was comfortably sitting to crawl up onto his lap and curl up against him as he drank his energon.

Prowl stared at the two of them together, seeing just how easily Optimus seem to take on a parental role with Miles and how well the sparkling responded to him. It wasn't surprising, though. Optimus' style of leadership was much like a parent's, caring about his troops like a father would. A spike of pain radiated through Prowl's spark, knowing that the Matrix was robbing him of much more than just the ability to bond. He had never really thought he'd want a sparkling until Miles came into their lives. At moments like this one he would feel strong pangs of desire from deep in his spark for a sparkling of his own, especially one with Optimus.

Not wanting this domestic moment to pass him by, Prowl moved to Optimus' side and leaned against him. Miles finished his energon, holding out the empty container to Prowl. "Done!" he announced proudly.

Prowl couldn't help smiling at how cute Miles could be, and just how much his personality mirrored Jazz's. He took the empty container from the sparkling and set it on the nearby end table, then settled against Optimus's side again. He gazed down at Miles, whose optics were dimming as Optimus lightly patted Miles' back in gentle rhythmic motions. _Is this what it's like to have a family?_ Prowl wondered. _Is this how Jazz feels? At peace? Whole?_ Miles looked up at Prowl with flickering optics.

"Tired?" Prowl asked quietly.

Miles nodded, then cuddled up against Optimus' chest, letting his optics go black as he slipped into a recharge.

Prowl felt a small kiss placed to his helm, and glanced up. A warm, loving smile curved Optimus' lips.

"This is nice," Optimus said in a whisper, trying not to disturb the recharging sparkling.

It was nice. Prowl nodded in agreement, then leaned his head on Optimus' shoulder. He knew he should feel happy, but instead a wave of sadness rolled through him. Jazz had it all. A bondmate, a sparkling, a life filled with so much light and love. Meanwhile Prowl was left in the darkness. Unable to connect his spark with Optimus', incapable of moving forward when his internal fears held him back, and not knowing if things would ever change for better, while fighting off the sense that things could take a turn for the worse at any moment.

"Optimus…" Prowl said in a hushed voice.

"Yes?"

"I think I'll pack up my crystals again, and take you up on the offer to move in here." Prowl glanced up at Optimus just in time to watch a broad smile spread across his lips.

"I would very much like that, Prowl."

Prowl smiled back, then rested his head against Optimus' shoulder again. He might not have the ideal life Jazz had, but he did have someone he loved and that loved him, which was more than a lot of others could say. Prowl decided in that moment to find the joy he could in the shared love they had for one another, to shine the light on the good parts and ignore the darkness around them.

* * *

_A/N- I hope you enjoy this last part to the Regardless universe. There are 2 more chapters that I will post over the coming weeks. This story is more on the mythos side, but the next chapter will have an actual interface scene (it's been a while since I wrote one. ^^;) Thanks again for reading!_


	2. Locked Away

Title: Forever – Locked Away

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M (interfacing, sticky)

Notes: Optimus Prime x Prowl. The past and present collide in an unexpected way. Will Prowl and Optimus' love for one another endure despite the huge obstacle that the Matrix poses for them?

Primus story is based in part from Marvel comics but altered to fit with Regardless Universe. The concept of the Matrix making bonding impossible already used in my previous fic 'A Little Love to Ease the Pain'.

Title taken from "Wandering Star" by Portishead:

_"Those who have seen the needles eye, now tread,  
Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled.  
And the masks, that the monsters wear,  
To feed, upon their prey._

_Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved,  
The blackness of darkness forever…"_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro. I am just playing with them.

* * *

"What in the world is that one?" Jazz asked as he leaned in close to the monitor screen, bumping shoulders with Prowl.

"I'm not entirely sure, but it is very intriguing." Prowl slid his chair over to allow Jazz more space to gawk at the images sent back from Cybertron. A scavenging team had stumbled across what must have been the High Council's former building in Iacon, bringing back a slew of artifacts from the long lost past. The image currently displayed on his desk's computer console showed a spherical shaped object with glyphs carved all over it.

"I can't read the letterin'," Jazz said as he leaned back in his seat and frowned.

"None of us can read it. It's in ancient Cybertronian. Ultra Magnus noted in his report they are scouring what older records they do have in search of something to help translate it."

"Huh. Too bad none of us can read it. Fer all we know, it has the secrets to the universe on it!" Jazz laughed at his own overly dramatic statement.

Prowl smiled in return, genuinely enjoying Jazz's buoyant mood.

"So!" Jazz turned to look at Prowl, his optical visor diming. "Heard yer movin' into Prime's quarters, _finally_."

"Oh, really?" Prowl asked in a nonchalant manner.

Shoving Prowl's shoulder playfully, Jazz made a scoffing sound. "I did, an' it took ya long enough."

Prowl frowned at his friend. "I don't like blindly leaping into things, like some mechs I know."

Jazz burst out laughing. "Ah, Prowl! Ya know me; I go where my spark leads me. I'm just glad yer doing the same, even if it's takin' forever."

"My circumstances are quite different than yours. I don't even see them as comparable." Prowl had shared with Jazz about the Matrix and the issues surrounding it shortly after Optimus told him about it. Jazz was the only mech in his life he could talk to about things that bothered him, and being the good friend Jazz was, he always listened and tried to find the silver lining for Prowl.

Jazz's bright smile faded away. "I know, Prowler. But yer still happy with 'im, right? Bonded or not, that's the important thing. Bein' happy."

Prowl gazed at Jazz for a long moment, then nodded. "Yes."

Jazz threw his arm around Prowl's shoulders and squeezed. "Then I know that things will work out. Just give it a lil' more time."

It was amazing to Prowl just how much faith Jazz placed in fate. He seemed to think that in some magical way things would always rectify themselves. In Prowl's experience fate was not so kind, randomly giving to some while taking away from others. His only defense against the unknown was to hang onto what mattered to him as tightly as possible.

Prowl dimmed his optics. "I appreciate your optimism, even if I have a hard time seeing the world like you do."

Jazz grinned. "Just tryin' to lighten that heavy load ya carry 'round."

"Well…thank you."

"I'm always here fer ya, Prowl."

Prowl realized he not only had Optimus to love and love him, but also the devoted support Jazz offered. He was surrounded by so much light and love, so why couldn't he shake off that sense of impending doom looming in his processor? Megatron was dead. Cybertron was being rebuilt. He had Optimus to love and Jazz to look out for him. Where was this unsettled feeling coming from then? If he looked at it from a logical standpoint, it had to be rooted in his past experiences of having happiness torn out of his grasp. _I just need to try harder to move forward_, thought Prowl. _Stop letting my past interfere with my future._

…

Stepping into the conference room just off the command deck, Optimus found both Prowl and Jazz already there with video feed from the main monitor displaying his oldest friend, Ultra Magnus. The door to the room slid shut behind him as he took his place beside Prowl and turned his gaze to the monitor.

"Hello, old friend," Optimus said as he bowed his head.

"Greetings, Optimus. My apologies for the interruption to your schedule, but this is an urgent matter." Ultra Magnus' friendly smile quickly dissipated.

Optimus straightened his posture. "Tell me what's concerning you."

Ultra Magnus glanced downward for a moment, then back up as his optical shades briefly flashed. "There have been teams sent out to Iacon to scavenge for useful scraps and parts as well as collecting any items of historical relevance."

"I am aware. I just finished reading your latest report," Optimus replied.

Ultra Magnus nodded. "Since my last report, the team that Kup commanded stumbled across a tunnel that they discovered runs deep beneath the former main governmental center in Iacon." Ultra Magnus' face seemed to tighten with stress. "They found a chamber with a large spherical structure at the center, which has yet to be identified. What is far odder about this area, though, is that it is _lit_. It's being powered by a source we cannot locate."

Optimus furrowed his brow, his interest piqued. "Really? They scanned for the power signals within the walls, correct?"

"Yes. There are none." Ultra Magnus' lips pursed for a moment. "Optimus, Starscream wants to cut into the sphere. He seems to think if we take it apart that we'll find the source of its power, possibly ending our energy issues. But…" Ultra Magnus trailed off, looking extremely worried.

"But?" Optimus prompted.

"There are symbols on the walls, Optimus. Ancient ones. Ones no one can read. I don't think we should be destroying something so historically significant to try and locate a power supply," Ultra Magnus said as he faintly shook his head. "Certainly not without knowing what it is first."

Optimus knew thanks to his agreements with Starscream that he was helpless when it came issues on Cybertron. He didn't like what he was hearing, but he also knew he forfeited his rights when he chose to protect Earth. "There isn't much I can do from here. Starscream is the commander for Cybertron, Magnus."

"The council has met, and we agreed to have each side appoint someone of our choosing to negotiate the fate of this unknown ancient relic. As Autobots, we have selected you." Ultra Magnus's voice lowered as he spoke.

"And the Decepticons chose?" Prowl asked.

"Thundercracker."

"That's a weird choice," Jazz said as he glanced at Prowl and then Optimus. "What's he know about anything ancient or the importance of a relic? What do any of the fliers know 'bout it? They cut themselves off from the rest of us in the old days."

Jazz had a point, but Optimus suspected Starscream had his group choose Thundercracker due to do loyalties and the connection their trine seemed to still share.

"I assume that means I have a trip to Cybertron in the near future," Optimus replied to Ultra Magnus.

"Seems so," Ultra Magnus replied with a small smile.

"Do you think it will add undue political pressure or send the wrong message to Starscream if I bring my SIC along?" Optimus asked.

Ultra Magnus faintly tilted his head. "Even if it does, that is your call to make, not his. As commander of Earth, if you wish to travel with your SIC, that's your choice."

Optimus nodded. "Then I will prepare for the trip and notify Starscream of my time of arrival. I will aim to get there as quickly as possible."

"Thank you, Optimus. Magnus out."

The video screen went dark.

"So, ah, you takin' Prowler means that I'm in charge? I kinda had a trip planned with the fam to see the Grand Canyon. We're supposed to leave the day after tomorrow." Jazz frowned as he fixed his focus on Optimus.

"Sir, while I appreciate being asked to travel with you, I do think the more prudent choice would be to leave me here to command the Earth base in your absence. Allow Jazz to have the time he already requested off to be with his family," Prowl said, clearly agreeing with the undertone of 'you can't be serious' latent in Jazz's question.

Optimus smiled behind his battlemask at the two them. For as long as he had known them, they had protected and looked out for one another. The closeness they shared had been a large part of why Optimus hid his growing attraction to Prowl. He wasn't sure if they might be involved or not, but after hearing about Jazz's bonding to Mirage he saw that what tied them together was more akin to a brother-like relationship. "Earth is quiet. Jazz, you will be in command, but you will share that responsibility with Ironhide. I am sure he can handle things while you are away with your family. Prowl, I know you've wanted to go back for sometime. I think this is the perfect opportunity."

"I see," Prowl replied, as his optics brightened slightly as his doorwings perked up on his back.

"Ooooh! I get it!" Jazz slapped Prowl's shoulder hard. "The big guy wants ya to 'imself."

Prowl shifted his gaze to Jazz, his doorwings flattening and lowering to show his displeasure with the direction Jazz pushed the conversation.

"This will be a working trip, Jazz," Prowl replied in an icy tone.

"Oh yeah, _sure_." Jazz's visor glinted as he grinned. He was completely immune to Prowl's attempt to rein him in.

Prowl heaved a huff of air from his intakes before turning to look back at Optimus. "Thank you for thinking of me."

"Of course." Optimus gazed at Prowl, resisting the urge to reach out and pull him close. They were on duty and that sort of behavior was certainly not appropriate. Though he doubted Jazz would think twice about such a public display of affection, he also wanted to be sure to respect Prowl's boundaries.

"I suggest a meeting with command staff as soon as possible for a briefing on procedures in our absence," Prowl said in his no-nonsense tone.

"Agreed," Optimus replied.

…

Prowl rolled his head back against the berth and quietly moaned as Optimus mouthed one of his neck cables. The day had been long and stress-filled, making this moment all the sweeter.

They had quickly packed a few personal items, then traveled over the spacebridge to Cybertron one Earth day after the video conference with Ultra Magnus. Starscream greeted them and gave them a whirlwind tour of the government building before meeting with them to talk about the relic, explaining how he could lift the rationing of energon if they had a supplemental source of power. Immediately afterward, they met with Ultra Magnus to also discuss the relic in question. He pointed out the historical importance and the need to preserve what little was left of their history. Prowl found both sides to have merit and didn't envy Optimus' position. Once the meetings had ended, they went to lounge area for some energon and ended up staying to socialize with Autobots they hadn't seen in quite sometime. While Prowl was happy to see everyone, he had also definitely reached his fill of interacting and forcing himself to into the role of an extrovert by the time he and Optimus had arrived at their temporary quarters. They had wasted no time, moving from a passionate kiss just inside the doorway to the berth. Prowl guessed Optimus needed some stress relief as well.

Optimus' fingers trailed over Prowl's chest, pausing to rim one of his headlights, which sent a shot of pleasure zinging over his sensory net. After a few times of awkwardly interfacing at the start of their relationship, Optimus had finally asked Prowl to be more forward and say what he liked and didn't like, offering to do the same. The results had been amazing, leading to some of the most wonderful overloads Prowl had ever experienced. He might not ever know what it felt like to spark merge, but he did find great comfort and love in Optimus' arms, feeling safe enough at these moments to let go and express himself in ways he never did for anyone else.

Dimming his optics, Prowl reached up to lightly massage one of Optimus' finials, earning him a low-rumbled moan in reply.

Optimus pulled back and stared at Prowl with darkened optics as a broad smile pulled at his lips. He then shifted, laying most of his larger frame beside Prowl and leaning over to lick at headlight opposite of the one he had already been teasing with his fingers.

"Optimus…" Prowl said in a hushed voice followed by a small moan of approval as he arched his back.

A large hand slid down over Prowl's torso as Optimus continued his glossa's dance around the rim of Prowl's headlight. The hand came to rest over his abdomen, not venturing any further down. Optimus could be somewhat of a tease, often unintentionally. Prowl knew he was simply caught up with his attention to his chest, but he really wanted that hand to move lower. He reached down and gently guided Optimus' hand over his interface panel. Breaking his focus, Optimus lifted his head to first look down to where his hand come to a rest, then back up to match gazes with Prowl.

Optimus chuckled a little as he started to massage the panel cover. "Sorry. I got distracted."

Prowl's lips parted to allow a soft gasp to escape in response to the intimate touch. "I realize that, which is why I directed you elsewhere."

"I didn't get to your doorwings yet." Optimus glanced at the one closest to him.

"Well, I was hoping that you could do that while we interfaced."

"Ah… sitting in my lap again, hm?" Optimus coyly smiled as he traced little circles over the still closed panel.

"I like that position, yes." Being so open and honest about he wanted still felt strange. He pushed his feelings of discomfort aside, knowing that is was important Optimus knew just how much trust he placed in him. After all, no one, not even Jazz, had ever earned this level of trust from Prowl before.

Their affectionate interplay ratcheted up in less than a breem. Optimus eventually settled into a seated position with his back the wall for support, and Prowl moved closer, straddling Optimus' hips. Optimus then ran both hands up Prowl's back toward the doorwing hinges on each side and started to fondle them. Leaning forward, Prowl initiated a soft-mouthed kiss, locking their lips together and trying to transmit all the passion he felt burning through his entire body into their kiss. Optimus moaned and parted his lips, and Prowl seized his opportunity, delving his glossa into the opposing mouth.

With each passing moment, Prowl shed more and more of his inhibitions, allowing each moan that teased his vocalizer to escape, letting his body arch into Optimus' touches, and giving into the love and fierce passion he truly felt for Optimus and permitting it shine through. Soon his spark was surging in his chest, aching for that connection it wanted. He softly whined, knowing that he couldn't grant its desire to merge. Instead he chose to distract his processor from the spark-ache by finally triggering open his interface cover and then tapping on Optimus'. Prowl broke their long kiss to breathe his request. "Open up."

Optimus' panel triggered open, and he smiled before he leaned forward to capture Prowl's lips with his own again, reinitiating their deep kiss. Prowl grabbed hold of both exposed jacks and squeezed them together, massaging them against one another. The sensory nodes that lined his jack went wild, sending a wonderful, heated pleasure shooting through his body. He moaned in response, only to have it swallowed by their kiss.

One of Optimus' hand drifted away from the doorwing it had been massaging and found its way to Prowl's port where his fingers carefully rimmed the edge.

Their kiss broke again as Prowl pulled back to stare into Optimus' optics. He was so handsome under normal circumstances, but like this he looked incredible. His optics darkened to deep shade of blue, and the look of lust and love playing across his face was something Prowl knew only he got to see. His concentration on the sight before him was interrupted, though, as a sharp sensation of pleasure spiked through him thanks to the finger that had pressed into his open port. He groaned and leaned forward against Optimus as that finger started to slowly pump in and out of his port, rendering Prowl nothing more than a quivering mass against Optimus' broad chest. He let go entirely, allowing himself to moan at will in response to just how good Optimus made him feel. Interfacing had never been this wonderful with anyone else, and Prowl knew half of his pleasure was from the simplicity of sharing himself with the mech he loved with all his spark.

The need for connecting to Optimus grew with each passing moment. His spark started to hurt in his chest again, aching for what it couldn't have. Prowl whined softly. He needed to distract himself from the quiet pulsing pain in his chest. "Now, Optimus. Please…"

"Anything you want, Prowl." Optimus' voice sounded so affectionate but his words still stung, even if the implications were intentional. _Anything but a spark bond_, Prowl couldn't help but think.

Optimus' strong hands took hold of Prowl's hips to lift him up, quickly derailing his thoughts from the depressing direction they were heading. He straightened his posture, moving into a kneeling position instead of a sitting one, while still straddling Optimus' lap. He stared down at the small space between their bodies, watching as Optimus carefully maneuvered the head of his jack to entrance of Prowl's port.

"Ready?" Optimus asked.

Prowl nodded as he sunk down, his port wrapping tightly around Optimus' jack and connecting them into one. This was as close as fate would allow them to be. Despite the pain in his spark, he focused on the pleasure he felt taking over every system and micrometer of his dermal plating instead. He curled up against the broad chest in front of him and pressed his face into the crook of Optimus' neck. Prowl sat still for a moment, letting his body adjust to the size and shape of Optimus' jack. Then slowly, he started to rock in Optimus' lap, causing a wonderful friction at their interfacing point.

Optimus shifted his hips in time with Prowl's, and the pace quickly picked up. Heat started to roll off both their frames in response the energy build up affecting internal systems. Prowl moaned lowly as he felt waves of deep pleasure radiate through his body with each thrust of their hips. His port started to constrict and pulse around the jack it surrounded in response to imminent overload he felt flashing over the edges of his processor. "Wings…" Prowl managed to say between moans, knowing that was all he needed to tip over the edge.

Large, warm hands slid up his back and out over the backsides of each doorwing, fingers splaying over the surfaces of each one. Prowl sharply gasped as he rolled his hips hard against Optimus. That was all it took to send him careening into an intense overload. His body contorted against Optimus as his hands tightly grabbed red paneling, threatening to leave finger-shaped dents while he rode out the wave of pure bliss pushing through him. Overloading with Optimus seemed to get more intense and last longer each time. He made a satisfied sounding groan as a euphoric feeling filled his processor, blotting out the pain in spark. Primus, it felt so wonderful.

As he slowly started to float down from his high, he realized Optimus was still rocking his hips. Not wanting to leave his lover behind, he tried to respond but found himself too spent to give it much more than a half-sparked try. It didn't take long before he felt Optimus' arms wrap around him, practically crushing him in a bear hug as he reached his own overload. Optimus grunted then made a low- sounding whine as his body heaved against Prowl's in the throws of his overload. Prowl twisted his head to dimly watch Optimus' face, enjoying the view of Optimus coming completely undone. He looked…_beautiful_ that way.

As the overload ebbed away for each of them, their bodies seem to meld into one another, and sooner than he would have liked, Prowl felt exhaustion move in, replacing the euphoria of overloading. Prowl silently stared up at Optimus, who had a satisfied-looking smile plastered across his lips. Optimus' dimmed optics then shifted to lock gazes with Prowl.

"Hm. Now that's a good ending to a long day," Optimus said as he limply reached up to trail his fingers down Prowl's arm.

"Agreed." Prowl couldn't stop himself from smiling at Optimus. "Better each time, I'd say."

Optimus wrapped both arms around Prowl's waist, lifting him to disconnect and then tipping over to lie on his side, pulling Prowl with him so they were lying facing each other. Optimus then leaned forward and stole a quick kiss.

"I like lying up against you better," Prowl said, hearing the exhaustion lacing his voice.

"Anything for you."

Optimus rolled to his back, and Prowl crawled to his favorite spot along the side of Optimus' larger frame, using his shoulder as a headrest. He stared at the center of Optimus' chest, then reached out to press his hand over the area that the Matrix and spark were. Optimus rested his hand over Prowl's, and a thick silence filled the room. They had said it all before. Nothing could change how things were, not without finding a way to free Optimus from his burden. Prowl suddenly felt utterly helpless, knowing there was nothing he could do when it came to something as powerful and important as the Matrix. He winced as his spark contracted painfully in its chamber, responding to his thoughts.

"I'll always love you, Prowl. Even if you stop loving me."

Prowl's gaze shot upward to Optimus' face. Coolant was pooling in Optimus' optics as he stared down at their hands over his chest.

"Optimus… I couldn't stop loving you, even if I tried." Prowl flexed his fingers against Optimus' chest.

Optimus looked at Prowl and smiled as a tear of coolant escaped, running down his cheek. "Primus, I am one lucky mech," he replied as he laced their fingers together.

For Prowl, the spark ache that came with this relationship was well worth it. No one had ever meant this much to him before. However, seeing how much hurt it was causing Optimus was just as awful as the pain his spark would cause him. He knew that talking about it was like poking at sparking wires, only igniting further anguish for each of them. Prowl then decided to change the subject in order to ease the pain welling up for both of them. "We should rest. Tomorrow will be an even longer day with our trip to Iacon on the agenda."

"Hm, you're right," Optimus replied, while offering a small, forced-looking smile.

Prowl relaxed as best he could, trying to bat away his darker thoughts. Concentrating on the warmth of Optimus' body, he focused on the knowledge of how deep their love for one another truly ran. _Someday I will figure out how to free you, Optimus… There has to be a way_, Prowl thought. _There just _has_ to be._

…

_Primus had tracked his brother through the universe, following the thread of connected energy their sparks shared, since they were twins from a split spark. A trail of utter devastation lay in his brother's wake. It pained Primus to find his brother had been so consumed by his dark tendencies. He had to do something._

_In the distance he spied his brother's form and moved in closer. "Unicron!"_

_His brother turned to look at him, his optics flashing a deep red color. "Primus. Just in time to see this planet die." In his brother's grip was a small, organic planet. Grinning wickedly, Unicron began to squeeze it._

"_Stop! Unicron, please!" Primus felt his spark surge with a desire to protect the planet and the life he could sense living on it. Not wanting anymore harm to come to innocent life forms, he decided to use the power of light residing in him. Pressing his hands together, he spoke. "I summon the power of light." In his mind's eye, he envisioned the planet returning to its original orbit, then he imagined transporting both him and his brother far away. A flash of light exploded outward from deep within his body, and not even a moment later they were in a starless area of universe. _

"_How dare you!" Unicron yelled, his voice bellowing across space. _

"_You have destroyed quite enough, brother. The darkness inside you was never meant for what you have twisted it into," Primus replied._

"_I am the chaos-bringer. That is what I do, dear brother. That is why I exist. Just because you don't like it doesn't give you the right to interfere in my affairs. Besides, without the darkness, no one would ever appreciate the light." Unicron spread his arms wide. "Darkness, grant me my wish." A long scathe took form in his brother's hands. One end jutted out with a curved blade, and the other end glinted at a sharp point. "Hm, should I behead you or impale you? What do you prefer?" An ugly-looking grin curled his lips._

_Sadness filled Primus at the sight. The darkness had driven his brother mad. He was no longer the once random and destructive force that roamed the universe, but a callous, unyielding destroyer that had been consumed by his darkness whole. "I cannot stand by and let you behave this way."_

"_Ha!" Unicron started to laugh. "Let me? Have you forgotten we are equals?" Without warning, Unicron flew at Primus, the pointed end of his weapon impaling his body. Pain flared over the surface of his frame, and his insides burned around the entry point of the weapon. His brother leaned in close, locking gazes with Primus. "I want to see that light bleed out of you slowly."_

_Primus refused to fight back. He stared into Unicron's optics, knowing that his love was the only thing powerful enough to stop him. Unicron pulled the weapon back out of Primus' body, only to plunge in again and twist it. The pain radiating through his body was nothing compared to the pain pulsing deep within his spark as he came to realize that his brother had turned on him completely. They had once worked in tandem, carefully maintaining a balance of light and dark, of order and chaos, but that time had clearly passed. "It ends now, Unicron. I will not allow you to continue your destructive path through the universe." Primus reached up to cup Unicron's face with one hand, but Unicron batted it away. _

"_You are weak. Soft. You won't even use the light to create a weapon to fight back with! How pathetic." Unicron narrowed his optics while slowly twisting his weapon, widening the wound through Primus' torso. _

"_I am not either of those things. Love doesn't make me weak or pathetic. It gives me the strength to change the course you will take in future. I will blind you with that light and love in hopes of getting you to see the error of your ways." Primus shifted to grab hold of Uncron's shoulders. _

"_You realize how ridiculous you sound?" Unicron shook his head. _

"_I summon the light to protect the universe." Primus concentrated on moving them to another dimension of the universe, calling all the power within himself to move them both at once and protect the universe he had come to love. "Transform us to your will, light." A brilliant light poured out of the center of his body where the weapon was lodged. It expanded and engulfed himself and Unicron, then with an explosive flash they shifted planes. _

_On the new plane of the universal dimension, Primus was left disoriented. He fought to focus on where they had arrived, only to see his brother was no longer in the form an astral being but an orb. It was then he realized he too was an orb. _

"_Primus! What have you done? How dare you!" Unicron yelled. "I will get my revenge, that I swear! You will never get away with doing this to me!"_

_By locking Unicron in a metallic celestial body, he could no longer wreak havoc. At the same time, Primus was now trapped as well. A price well worth paying if that meant balance would return to the universe and he and his brother would live on. _

_xxx  
_

Optimus' optics flared on. He felt Prowl pressed against his side and glanced down to see he was deeply recharging. The images and feelings from the memory file lingered as confusion took hold. _That wasn't my memory. How is it possible to have memory file feedback when that wasn't my memory?_ Optimus didn't understand. It had all been so vivid and clear, as if he was Primus experiencing the battle, the pain, and the love for a brother lost. _Primus…_was he real? More than a story told to sparklings? Or was Optimus' processor suffering a catastrophic failure or some sort? He wasn't sure which is it was. Twinges of fear prickled in the back of his processor, but he tried to ignore the feeling. He was safe, alert and here with Prowl.

What could have caused that memory file to play for him? It made no sense, then he felt his spark quiver oddly in his chest. He dimmed his optics and pressed his hand to his chest just over where the Matrix and his spark were. _The Matrix…_ was that the cause? If it was, it had never done that before. So why now? Maybe being back on Cybertron after all this time was affecting it. Optimus grimaced at the idea that the Matrix would be acting strangely now.

Looking back at Prowl, Optimus relaxed a little. It had to be some fluke event caused by the Matrix, nothing more. He softly sighed air from his intakes as he let his optics flicker off. He focused on the comforting feeling that came with holding Prowl close and let his worrisome thoughts float away, eventually allowing him to slip back into recharge. He figured when he woke up things would be fine again.

…

The transport shuttle ride was much longer than Prowl would have liked. He was crammed into the cargo area seating with Optimus, Ultra Magnus, Thundercracker, Soundwave, Starscream, and Starscream's sparkling, Starfire, who was seated on his lap.

"Make it something!" Starfire said, sounding just as insistent as his father.

"Make into what?" Starscream asked as he took hold of a small toy that had parts that could snap into place to create different shapes.

"Hm. I dunno," Starfire replied as he stared intently at the toy in his father's grip.

Starscream bent around the pieces until it vaguely resembled a plane. "How about this?"

Starfire grabbed it out of Starscream's hands and closely inspected it. "What is it?"

"A plane," Starscream replied.

"Thunder-ah… hey! _You_ make it something," Starfire held the toy out to the Thundercracker, sitting across from them.

"You can call me TC, if that's easier, Starsfire." Thundercracker graciously took the toy and began to manipulate it.

The sparkling was a nice distraction from Prowl's discomfort at being crammed into the small area with much larger mechs, although he did question Starscream's choice to bring Starfire along. Skyfire had been busy helping deal with a generator that failed shortly before they left, and Skywarp was back on Earth with Lightningbolt visiting with Miles. In a way, it was simply bad timing that led to their small extra passenger, but still, Prowl doubted he would have done the same thing if he were Starscream.

Prowl glanced at Optimus, expecting to see him also watching the sparkling, but instead Optimus was staring blankly at the floor. In fact, he had been acting oddly since they woke from their recharge earlier in the cycle. He seemed…distracted.

Opening their private comm. line, Prowl decided to finally ask if there was something upsetting him. :: Optimus, are you all right?::

Optimus glanced at Prowl, offering a small forced-looking smile. ::Everything is fine.::

Prowl could see he was anything but 'fine', though. ::You seem out of sorts.::

::Thanks for worrying about me, but I am just fine.:: Optimus glanced away, once again staring at the floor.

"Now that's a plane!" Starfire said excitedly.

Prowl looked back over to see the sparkling fingering the toy and smiling brightly.

"Mine wasn't good enough, hm?" Starscream asked with a small frown.

Starfire tipped his head back to gaze upward at his father and grinned. "Thunder-ah-TC's is better. But I _love_ you, so it's okay."

Thundercracker stifled a laugh at the sparkling's logic, while Starscream seemed to almost beam at the statement.

"Well, then. I suppose that _is_ okay, since I love you, too." Starscream squeezed Starfire against his chest.

"Aaa! You're gonna squish me flat!" Starfire giggled as he made half-sparked attempts to get away from the grip he was in.

Prowl smiled. Parents were parents it seemed. Starscream's self absorbed personality didn't seem to detract one bit from that bond he clearly had to his sparkling. Prowl's mind then wandered toward 'what if'. What would his and Optimus' sparkling be like if they ever had one? Would he be as curious as Miles? Or shy like Silverflame? Maybe he would be like Optimus with ceaseless optimism and love for all living beings. His spark then ached in his chest at his thoughts, since he knew it would never happen so long as the Matrix blocked the way. He looked to Optimus, hoping for a reassuring smile. Instead, Optimus seemed to be light years away, his optics unfocused as he stared downward, apparently absorbed in his own thoughts.

The shuttle suddenly shook slightly as it came to a stop.

"Are we there?" Starfire asked as he sat forward in Starscream's lap.

"Yes. _Finally_." Starscream scooped his sparkling up into his arms and got to his feet. The shuttle door opened, and he was the first to get off. The rest of them shuffled out one by one to the landing area. Starscream told the shuttle operator to wait at the vehicle, then led the way toward the relic they had all come to see.

It was strange to see Iacon in such ruins. Prowl looked out over the landscape of half-toppled buildings and destroyed scenery. ::Sad, isn't it?:: he commented over their private comm. line.

::Hm?::

Prowl's attention snapped back to Optimus. He was holding one hand to his chest as they walked toward to the tunnel entrance.

::The landscape. It's sad to see.:: Prowl said, trying to clarify.

::Oh. Yeah.:: Optimus' short reply instantly worried Prowl. His distracted and distant behavior seemed to be escalating. Prowl decided he should to keep his attention pinned on Optimus. Something felt very off.

They made their way down the tunnel while the sparkling giggled and shouted to hear his voice echo. Prowl kept his gaze on Optimus. What Prowl had assumed was a state of deep thought was starting to look more and more like a general daze, as if Optimus were only half aware of his surroundings.

They eventually came to the end of the hall and passed through a skinny corridor that led out into a large, round chamber. At the center of the room was a huge spherical object on a platform. Ancient Cybertronian glyphs covered the curved walls. The room was brightly lit, but as Prowl glanced around he didn't see where the light was coming from. No fixtures, recessed or otherwise, were anywhere to be seen.

"As you can see, there is a power source of some sort in this area. We just need to find it. My guess is that it's inside the sphere." Starscream gestured to the object at the center of the room with one arm, while holding Starfire close with the other.

"Destroying something mysterious and from our ancient past in order to possibly find some extra energy is a not prudent choice of action. This is some sort of sacred object, one that I have yet to find any record of." Ultra Magnus crossed his arms over his large chest. "We should be trying to find its place in our history, not cut it open."

Prowl frowned, then looked back over at Optimus, who was no longer staring off into nothingness. Optimus' gaze was fixed squarely on the sphere. ::Optimus? You are acting _peculiar_. Do we need to go back outside, or possibly call—::

"You are both wrong," Optimus suddenly said.

Had he not heard his comm. link? Prowl reached out and grabbed hold of Optimus' elbow. "Sir, are you okay?"

"Like you know anything more about this thing than the rest of us, Prime," Starscream replied as he frowned.

Finally, Optimus glanced back at Prowl. "I know what it is." His battlemask retracted, revealing his smiling face. "Primus is real."

Instantly, worry and concern for Optimus flooded Prowl. "It's a story, Optimus."

"What the frag are you talking about?" Starscream asked.

"Is he okay?" Thundercracker asked.

"Optimus," Prowl said as he laid his hands on his love's forearm. "You are acting very strangely. Do we need to leave?"

"No, he's real. I wasn't sure, but now I am." Optimus' smile widened, as his optics dimmed and went out of focus despite the fact he was looking directly at Prowl.

Prowl's worry morphed into panic. "I think we need to get you out of here."

Optimus cupped Prowl's face, seemingly unaware of the others all staring at them. "I love you, Prowl."

"Sir, this is not really the place or time for—"

"I have to go, but I'll be back. Wait for me, okay?" Optimus leaned forward and placed a kiss to Prowl's forehead.

"What are you talking about?" Prowl asked as he felt his panic spike.

Optimus pulled away from Prowl and walked toward the sphere. Prowl glanced at the others, who all looked extremely confused.

"What's going on?" Ultra Magnus asked.

"I don't know," Prowl replied, not bothering to hide how upset he was by Optimus' behavior as he took quick steps, following his leader and lover. "Sir, please. You need to pull yourself together."

Optimus didn't answer as he stepped up onto the platform and reached out to touch the giant sphere. A flash of light erupted from the sphere and danced over Optimus' frame for a brief moment, then faded.

"Optimus!" Prowl shouted.

"What the frag was that?" Starscream asked.

Optimus' frame went limp and collapsed, falling backward with loud clang. The world narrowed for Prowl in that moment. All he could focus on or see was the mech he loved, unconscious on the floor. Prowl fell to his knees beside Optimus and held his face with both hands. "Optimus!" He stared at his love's face with horror as his fears of something dire happening seemed to all come to life. Primus forbid he have even this small corner of happiness to himself.

"Is he broken?" Starsfire asked.

"What happened?" Thundercracker asked.

"He touched it, that's all. I've touched it, and nothing happened to me," Starscream replied.

"I have too," Ultra Magnus replied.

"Soundwave, don't touch it now! It might zap yo—" Starscream started to scold.

"No response," Soundwave droned.

Prowl only half listened to them as felt his world collapsing around him. "Optimus…" _Don't leave me alone. Don't go. What did you mean by 'wait for you'? What is happening? Optimus…_ Prowl's spark hurt so much it felt like it was burning in his chest. The deeply ingrained fear of losing someone he cared about quickly fueled his desire to not let fate rip another one away from him. "We need to get him medical attention, now!" Prowl said, using his most commanding tone of voice. No way was he going to stand by and let this happen. He had watched too many others in his life die on him. He refused to let Optimus slip away too.

"Agreed." Starscream quickly ordered everyone into action. "Thundercracker grab his legs, Ultra Magnus his shoulders. Soundwave, comm. the shuttle and let the pilot know to prep for immediate take off."

Prowl watched helplessly as the larger mechs lifted Optimus up. He fought to remain composed in appearance, while inside all he wanted to do was either scream or break down crying. Nothing in his life was ever easy, but this was too much. Not able to truly face down his deep-seated fear of loss, he mentally and emotionally escaped into a mode of denial, telling himself it would all be okay over and over.

"Is he gonna die?" Starfire asked sounding scared.

"He'll be fine," Prowl quickly replied, not wanting anyone to contradict what he was trying so hard to believe himself. _He will be okay… He _has_ to be okay… I _need_ him to be okay…_

* * *

_A/N- Big thanks to the few of you who have hung in there and read through all the Regardless Universe... Last chapter will be posted next week._


	3. Dawn's Light

Title: Forever – Dawn's Light

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M (sparkbonding), OC death

Notes: Optimus Prime x Prowl. The past and present collide in an unexpected way. Will Prowl and Optimus' love for one another endure, despite the huge obstacle that the Matrix poses for them?

Primus story is based in part from Marvel comics, but altered to fit with Regardless Universe. The concept of the Matrix making bonding impossible already used in my previous fic 'A Little Love to Ease the Pain'.

Title taken from "Wandering Star" by Portishead, but I like this verse from "Dry the Rain" by Beta Band:

_"Take me in and dry the rain,  
the rain the rain the rain now._

_If there's something inside that you wanna say,  
Say it out loud it'll be okay,  
I will be your light_

_I will be your light_

_I will be your light  
I will be your light…"_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

_Hope for stopping Unicron's rampage faded away the moment Primus watched him manipulate his body and transform it from its orb shape into a robotic form. His brother vowed to destroy Primus, but instead of crushing him at that moment he took off, disappearing into the blackness of space. Due the wounds that were slowly healing inside his new orb shape, Primus was unable to transform and give chase. _

_Left floating on his own, Primus grew increasingly lonely. In this form he couldn't wander the universe he loved so much to see the living creatures in it. Then a thought occurred him:_ I have the power of creation available to me. I could generate beings, then I won't be lonely anymore…

_Using the power of light, he synthesized energy and matter from his body to create an avatar version of himself as a tool for building his creations. Long wires trailed off the smaller robotic-looking form that mirrored his own former astral appearance, linking to his memory core, processor and spark. He took his time crafting twelve beings. Each one resembled him, but each had their own characteristics and attributes. Taking a cue from his brother, he made them adaptable and able to transform their bodies. He gazed at the empty shells and realized that in order to give them life he would have to split off pieces of his spark. That was fine if all he wanted were twelve children, but he wanted more for them. He wanted them to mirror the beautiful organic creatures in the universe he adored so much. Organics procreated, combining cells that would eventually grow into brand new life forms. He needed to find a way to allow his children to do the same._

_Accessing his endless memory banks, he examined his trips to organic planets, paying special attention to how they multiplied themselves and cared for one another. He took his time, determining how best to integrate the unique ability of organic life to propagate into his own creations. While he knew he would have to split his own spark to give them life, he had carefully designed their spark chambers into a shape that allowed them create new sparks by spark merging, and thus new life. _

_Calculating the amount of energy it would take to split his spark, he determined the physical toll on his body would most likely require him to spend a long time in stasis to properly recover. It was well worth it, though, to have his creations come to life. A database with the information his creations would need to survive while he rested was complied to hopefully provide them all they would need to know. He included instructions and schematics for everything from where to find the energon reserves that would serve to power them, to how to build and repair their bodies. Since his creations would start life fully formed and 'adult', they also needed detailed instructions on how to raise their offspring, which were designed and intended to grow much like the organic life beings. _

_Satisfied with the designs of his children, he used the power of light to split off thirteen pieces of his spark, twelve for his children and one for a special item he designed. Despite his careful calculations, the process took up a lot more of his energy than he anticipated. The injuries that were still healing in addition to the stress of splitting his spark greatly weakened his body. Pushing past his exhaustion, he moved his avatar to place the pieces of his spark into each being he had created._

_The first one to come online gazed up at his avatar, looking confused. He then glanced around, seeing the others beside him on the long tabletop surface. _

"_You are the first one to come online, Prima." Primus' avatar smiled down at the newly awakened being._

_Prima's optics flashed brightly. "Is that my name?" he asked. _

"_Yes."_

_Prima furrowed his brow, seemingly confused. "Who are you?" _

"_I am Primus, well, this is my avatar. I created you."_

"_Oh." Prima's optics grew wide. "My creator?" he asked in an awed voice._

_Primus nodded as he smiled._

_Prima sat up, quickly glancing around the room. "And where am I?"_

"_My body. It's been transformed into an orb. I wanted to offer it to you and the others as a home, and I have something to ask of you." Primus moved to the workbench to pick up the last item he had made, a Matrix. It was a multi-purpose device that would be powered by the piece of spark he placed inside it. He walked back over and carefully hung it on Prima's neck with the chain he had attached to it. "This is what I call a Matrix. It has a piece of my spark inside it, just like you do, although it is not sentient. I want you to hold onto to it so it can record the events that will happen in my absence."_

"_Your absence?" Prima fingered the Matrix as he stared down at it. "I just awoke and now you are leaving?" he asked, his voice growing quiet and sad._

"_I am here. I will always be here, but due to wounds deep within my body that are still healing along with the stress of splitting my spark to create you all, I will need to go into a stasis for sometime to recover." Primus' avatar looked to the side as he watched another of the creations stir and optics light. _

"_I see. How will we know what to do?" Prima asked as he stared at the Matrix in his hands. "What is our purpose?"_

"_You are all programmed with basic knowledge, and I have created a mainframe database for you all to access. If you have any questions, it should be able to answer it." Primus felt a wave of sadness ripple through him. All this labor and hard work to make these beings to help quell his loneliness and now he would have to wait eons while his body and spark properly healed to actually enjoy being around them. The wait would be so long, in fact, he'd probably not get to see his original creations again. His time to rest would last much longer than their expected lifetimes. That thought pained him greatly. "As far as a purpose, I simply wanted you to keep me from feeling so alone. I hadn't properly anticipated the physical toll creating you would take on me, however. But you will all have each other and hopefully never feel lonely."_

"_Thank you." Prima said, his optics shimmering as he smiled at Primus._

"_For?"_

"_Life."_

…

It had been almost four cycles, and Optimus still lay unconscious in medbay. Prowl hadn't left his side, skipping recharge and only fueling if someone shoved a cube in his hand. Ratchet had been contacted and quickly made his way to Cybertron. He ran countless scans and did a very thorough examination but found no cause for Optimus' current state.

Prowl lightly ran his fingers over Optimus' hand, trying to take comfort in the fact he was still warm to the touch. How long would Optimus lie there like this? What had he meant by what he said about Primus before he touched the sphere? There was so much left unanswered. There were also things he wished he had said. _I should have told him I love him back… _His feelings of guilt were almost overwhelming. If he had only paid closer attention to Optimus' behavior beforehand or made them turn back as soon as he realized something was wrong. Prowl sighed air from his intakes in frustration, knowing that self-battering thoughts and 'should have's wouldn't change anything.

Glancing at the closed door to the medbay room they were in, Prowl decided he would act on an irrational desire to talk to Optimus even though he wasn't awake. He lifted the blue hand he had been lightly stroking and held it to his cheek, as he looked to Optimus' face and tried to mentally will him into consciousness. "It's me, Optimus. Please wake up for me…" Prowl whispered. "I miss you so much. I don't want to be left here all alone. Please…"

The door whooshed open, and Prowl quickly dropped the hand in his grip, which landed with a soft thud.

Ratchet stepped into the room and half smiled at Prowl before walking over the monitor and tapping the screen to quickly look over the readings.

"You know, Prowl," Ratchet said as he turned to look at him. "You need to recharge."

"I perfectly fine," Prowl replied as he frowned at Ratchet.

Ratchet crossed his arms over his chest and frowned back. "Your optics are lighter in color than they should be, and your doorwings are drooping."

There really wasn't anything he could say to defend himself since Ratchet was right. Exhaustion had taken firm hold of his entire frame, permeating every micrometer of his being. His joints ached, his vision was sometimes going out of focus, and he had caught himself nodding off two times now.

"If you want to crawl onto the berth with him, I don't care. Just get some rest. _Please,_" Ratchet said in a pleading tone.

The idea of recharging in the berth with Optimus was both appealing as well a little embarrassing. Part of him really wanted to be close to Optimus and feel the warmth of his frame against his own, a reassurance that Optimus was still alive, even if unconscious. The other part would be mortified if anyone walked in and witnessed just how vulnerable he felt right now, especially since he was working so hard to keep up a brave front in the face of everything that was happening.

"I let Skywarp recharge with Thundercracker when he was injured. It really is okay, Prowl." Ratchet unfolded his arms and offered Prowl a somewhat sad-looking smile.

Prowl stiffened his posture and shook his head. "The last thing I need right now is for some medic to come in here and see something like that."

"Like what?" Ratchet asked. "All they would see is someone who loves Optimus."

Prowl winced. He highly coveted his privacy. Inside he was falling into pieces, but there was no way in Pit he'd ever let on just how close to falling apart he really was. Maybe he if he changed the subject Ratchet would drop it. "Any changes in the readings?" Prowl asked as he nodded his head to the monitor.

"No." Ratchet furrowed his brow and frowned. "And I'm not one of the twins or Blue. Changing subjects doesn't work on me, Prowl. You need to rest, so set your ego aside for half a cycle and recharge."

Primus, Ratchet could be really annoying when he wanted to be. "This has nothing to do with my 'ego'. I know my own limits, and I certainly don't need you treating me like a misbehaving sparkling."

Ratchet's frown deepened. "Well, I'll stop treating you that way if you stop being so fragging stubborn and _recharge_."

The stress of the situation and Ratchet's attitude quickly compounded with Prowl's overwhelming exhaustion, eating up what little shreds of self-control were left in him. "_Drop it_, Ratchet," he said in a cold, harsh-sounding voice.

Ratchet looked surprised by the curt statement but seemed to quickly recover his composure. "Look, you have to admit if you saw one of us going without recharge for several cycles that you'd tell them to go rest, wouldn't you? That's the logical and reasonable thing to do, isn't it?"

"Trying to appeal to my logical or rational side is a cheap ploy." Prowl looked at Optimus' unconscious face. "Besides, there is _nothing_ logical about this situation so I am allowed to act as _irrationally_ as I please." Prowl glanced back at Ratchet and narrowed his optics.

Ratchet stared back at him, looking extremely concerned. "Prowl…"

"What? You'll offer me pity next?" Prowl snapped. He was so sick of having all his transitory happiness stomped into the ground by fate. He was angry that he couldn't even have a little of the good fortune everyone else seemed to share in. "Nothing will be all right. Not until he wakes up." Prowl felt his doorwings quivering from his barely restrained emotions teeming near the surface. He wanted to scream and yell and tell the randomness of fate to shove it up its tailpipe, or else he wanted to break down and cry until he couldn't cry anymore. "So you'll have to pardon me if I can't just relax and get some recharge while hoping everything will turn out fine." _With my luck he'd die while I was offline_, he thought.

Ratchet's posture straightened, and he circled the berth and knelt down beside where Prowl was sitting. "Hey, I know this hard. I have been in a similar position myself, more than once I might add. Optimus is a fighter, though. Everything _will _be all right."

Why were mechs like Ratchet or Jazz able to be so hopeful in the face of reality? Was something broken in Prowl's processor that he could never seem to escape that feeling of dread and doom? "I wish I could see the world like everyone else seems to be able to." Prowl felt coolant welling on the surface of his optics, but by sheer force of will he held the tears back. "I wish Jazz was here…" he whispered. Of all the mechs he was surrounded by, Jazz was the only one aside from Optimus that always managed to offer comfort to him whenever he would reach a low point like this. Instead he was facing this situation all alone.

"Jazz can't be here, you know that. But I am here. You can talk to me if you want," Ratchet offered.

Prowl felt Ratchet lightly touch his elbow. "No offense, but I don't talk about this kind of thing with anyone other than Jazz."

"None taken." Ratchet's hand pulled away. "Think we could come to a compromise, though?"

"Compromise?"

"I'll lock down the room for a half cycle; no one will come in, not even me. And in return, you'll recharge."

Prowl took a moment to consider Ratchet's proposal. He knew he needed to rest. If he pushed much further he might pass out and land himself in a separate berth away from Optimus. If Ratchet was willing to give him his privacy, then at least he could recharge here with Optimus. Prowl concluded it was a good offer and nodded in agreement. "Deal."

Ratchet smiled. "You have my word no one will even get _near _the door. If they do, I'll threaten to remove their arm and beat 'em with it."

A small smile curved Prowl's lips in response to Ratchet's 'threat'. "Thank you." Prowl had only ever seen Ratchet's more abrasive side, so it was strange to see how tender he could be when the circumstances called for it.

Ratchet got to his feet and walked to the door where he paused and glanced back at Prowl. "See you in half a cycle." With that he slipped out of the room.

Prowl's whole posture slumped as the door slid shut behind Ratchet. His exhaustion along with the stress of everything made his body feel like it weighed twice as much as normal. He glanced up at Optimus, hearing his love's last words ring in his processor: _I have to go, but I'll be back. Wait for me, okay?_ "I promise to wait forever if I have to."

Pushing to his feet, he carefully crawled up onto the berth and lay down across Optimus' chest, curling up against the warm broad frame. He tried to stay online a little while and focus on that wonderful warmth, but he soon found his thoughts weren't even properly forming, left hanging half-finished in his processor. It didn't take long before he slipped offline as exhaustion finally won out against his force of will.

…

_Primus was having trouble maintaining control of his avatar. His whole body was shutting down on him. He had managed to stay conscious long enough to see all his children come online, healthy and perfectly sound, which was thrilling. He was quickly running out of time, though. He maneuvered his avatar towards a small podium and called Prima over. _

"_The matrix will not only record history in my absence, but it's designed to be a key to awaken me," Primus explained with his avatar as he gestured at the podium. "Once the energon reserves start to run low, it will need to be placed here to reinitiate my body and its systems. Do you understand?" _

_Prima nodded. "Yes."_

_Primus placed a hand on Prima's shoulder. "Be sure to propagate and grow strong as a new species. My slumber will last for many, many eons, much longer than your lifetimes, I'm afraid. So I expect to meet your descendants." He smiled warmly at Prima, then looked the other twelve beings who were all quietly watching. Sadness at knowing he'd never meet these particular creations again was made worse as he saw the looks of disappointment, worry and sorrow on his children's faces. One even turned away to wipe his face clean of the coolant tears that were streaming from his optics. _

"_We will. Rest and be well. We promise to make you proud." Prima spoke softly, but there was a distinct air of authority in his posture and voice as he stepped forward and hugged the avatar. "We are thankful, and we are all going to miss you," he whispered._

"_Keep each other safe," Primus replied as he hugged Prima back._

_Worry about his brother and his threat to inflict harm weighed heavily on Primus' mind. At least by going into such stasis, Unicron wouldn't be able to locate him though their split spark bond. Such a deep stasis would cause his spark to slow considerably, making it almost impossible to detect for Unicron. Primus would do anything to ensure his creations had the best possible lives, even if that meant he couldn't be an active part of them._

_Primus moved his avatar toward where his creations were gathered just behind Prima, wanting to hold each of them. They surrounded him and took turns hugging him. Some openly cried; others hung onto an arm or piece of his armor and did not let go. He reveled in the affection offered, feeling his spark pulse happily, even if this was also a sad moment. Knowing he was no longer alone gave him great comfort, and he was glad that his children would have each other while he was in stasis. The effort to keep his avatar moving grew to be too much, and he had to cut power to it, allowing it to slump into his creation's arms. His straining systems were shutting down on him. He lost all physical sensation and then all visual input was cut off. Just before he lost consciousness he asked one last thing of the power of light:_ Protect them and give them strength, light.

xxx

The answer. The place he needed to go. The reason the Matrix was acting so oddly. Now Optimus knew how to finally free himself of his obligation and duty as a Prime. The Matrix's ability to light their darkest moment was not some metaphor or even a weapon as the council had alluded to. It was a key. A key to unlocking _everything_.

The closer they had got to Iacon the more the Matrix had vibrated in his chest against his spark. He worried about the possible damage it was doing, but he didn't want to pass that worry onto Prowl and kept it to himself. When they entered the tunnel, he started having flashes of Primus' memories interrupt his vision. The Matrix vibrated harder than ever, urging him towards the sphere they had all come to see. Memories and images that weren't his had filled his field of vision once they entered the circular chamber where the sphere sat. Then he heard a whispered voice inside his processor. _'It's been too long. Please wake me. Touch the sphere; it's my memory core. I will show you what to do…' _

One touch to the huge sphere was all it took to transfer several memory files to the Matrix. Optimus was then immediately plunged into those memories, reliving the moments Primus experienced. He had been shown what to do and wanted to act, but found he was mired in the memories now, unable to break free toward consciousness and left drowning the emotions of their creator. How long had it been? A cycle? An orn? He realized that he had lost all concept of time… Suddenly, in the midst of experiencing Primus' joy and sadness, Optimus felt warmth against his dermal plating. He focused on the sensation, fighting past the images of a life that hadn't been his as he tried to reach that warmth.

"Please come back. I miss you so much."

Prowl… That was Prowl's voice. He sounded so sad and lost. Pushing against the tide of memories that weren't his, Optimus accessed his own memory files: Prowl curled up beside him on the couch, gazing up with nothing short of loving adoration; those pretty doorwings perking upward when Optimus would disengage his battle mask to smile at Prowl; the feeling of completeness that only came when he held Prowl close. _I'm coming back to you, Prowl…_

With that thought, Optimus' optics flared on.

"Optimus!"

It took a moment to get his optics to properly focus, and when they did he found himself face to face with a very worried-looking Prowl who was lying across his chest. Relief as well as joy filled him at the sight.

"Prowl. You waited." Optimus reached up and trailed his fingers down Prowl's face.

"Of course." Coolant pooled in Prowl's optics, making them look glossy. "I thought I might have lost you forever."

Smiling, Optimus cupped Prowl's chin and swept a thumb over his lower lip. "I was lost. But you helped me find my way back."

A little crinkle formed in Prowl's brow.

"I love you, Prowl."

"And I love you. I should have said it before back in Iacon. I'm so sorry I didn't. I just didn't understand what was happening. Still, that is no excuse. I should have—"

Optimus pressed his thumb to Prowl's lips, interrupting him. "You have no reason to apologize. I should have explained what was happening. I wanted to protect you from what was going on, but I can see that it upset you more than it helped." Prowl's concerned look faded a little. Optimus moved his hand, letting it slide down the graceful curve of Prowl's neck. "I am very sorry I made you worry about me."

Prowl's optics dimmed. "I worry. It's something I secretly excel at, actually. All that matters to me is that you're okay."

"I'm more than okay. After all, I have a very beautiful mech sprawled across my chest. Not sure I could imagine anything better to come back online to," Optimus replied as he smiled.

A small smile curved Prowl's lips. "Oh, really?"

"Yes." Optimus stared at Prowl's sweet face, his gaze pausing at those perfect lips. "Think I could get a kiss?"

"Anything for you." Prowl leaned down, and their lips met in a soft-mouthed kiss. The love he felt for Prowl seemed to make his spark swell in its chamber. All he wanted was to be free to show Prowl how he truly felt. And now he knew what to do with the Matrix to finally be free of the burdensome responsibility that came with it.

He broke off the kiss, and grinned at Prowl. "I have a lot to tell you."

"Oh?" Prowl faintly canted his head.

"I know how to free myself from the Matrix, and I now know Primus is real."

The crinkle in Prowl's brow returned. "Optimus, Primus is just a story we tell sparklings."

Shaking his head, Optimus smiled. "He is very real, Prowl."

"Before you tell me more, perhaps I should have Ratchet look you over."

Optimus knew Prowl's concern for him stemmed from his love and nodded. "If it'll put your mind at ease, that's fine. But I need to talk to you right after."

Prowl nodded in agreement.

"Thank you," Optimus said quietly.

"For what?" Prowl asked, looking a little confused.

"For loving me."

Prowl's optics surged brightly as smiled. "Of course."

…

If Prowl didn't know any better, he might have assumed a mech that told him Primus was real had damaged his processor. This was no ordinary mech, though. This was Optimus. Prowl listened intently to his love as he went into great detail about Primus and the memories he had experienced. Prowl tried desperately to wrap his mind around everything he was being told. One part of him was concerned for Optimus' mental stability, wondering if the zap of light he received from the sphere had damaged him, while the other part wanted to believe him, especially since it seemed there might be a way to finally free Optimus from the Matrix.

They had returned to their temporary quarters once Ratchet cleared Optimus. Prowl poured two servings of energon, and they sat down at a small table in the corner of the main living area to talk. Optimus had wasted no time delving into the events and describing Primus' memory files he believed he had seen.

Optimus paused after finishing his description of what Prima had looked like and furrowed his brow at Prowl as he fingered the edge of his energon container. "I am getting the impression you don't believe me."

"It's a lot to take in." Prowl wanted to believe him, he honestly did, but he simply couldn't ignore the flaws and inconsistencies. If the Matrix was a key to reinitiate Primus' systems, why hadn't it been used at the beginning of the war when the energon had started to dry up in the reserves? And a database like the one Optimus described sounded amazing, but where was it now? How had the Matrix been passed on but not something as important as such an extensive database?

"I need you to believe me, Prowl. I need you to trust in me, _please_." Optimus reached across the table and placed his hand over Prowl's.

Prowl looked down at the large blue hand over his. In a way, he would have to take a huge leap of faith if he was going to go along with all this. He glanced back up at Optimus' face, seeing just how desperate he was to have Prowl believe him. In all the time he had known Optimus, not once had there been a cause to distrust him. Besides, Optimus seemed to genuinely believe what he was saying. "I trust you, Optimus."

"That means a lot to me," Optimus said as his posture relaxed a little. "We need to get back to Iacon. I know exactly where to go."

That was when Prowl realized just how serious this was. Optimus truly believed everything he had told Prowl was the bottom line truth. To Optimus, Primus was not a myth. Prowl frowned slightly, feeling unsure of what to believe: Optimus or a lifetime of being told Primus was nothing more than a fairytale. If Primus were in fact real, then it did stand to reason that the Matrix would be the conduit between the past and the present, connecting its bearer to Primus in a way no other mech would be able to. It would explain why Optimus was the only one to be affected by the sphere after touching it. And it was quite possible that the knowledge of the Matrix's true use would have been lost over time, since there was nothing else on all of Cybertron as ancient. It was _plausible_ that Optimus was right.

Prowl gazed into Optimus' optics, which were shining brightly. Optimus looked so hopeful. An emotion Prowl rarely ever felt himself, and yet there was something almost infectious about that look of hope. He loved Optimus with all his spark, and in that moment realized he'd do anything for him. Even if it turned out Optimus was wrong and had in fact fried a section of his processor, Prowl knew he was willing to follow him anywhere, fool's errand or not. He was in this relationship for the long haul. If going to Iacon was what Optimus wanted, then he would help him. "We will need to devise a plan. I don't believe after our last trip that Starscream will be willing to grant you another outing to Iacon. We will need to confiscate a shuttle to use."

"Hm, you're right," Optimus replied. "Plus, the sooner we get Primus' systems initiated the sooner the energon reserves will be replenished." Optimus gently squeezed Prowl's hand. "And the sooner we can be together as a bonded couple."

Heat rippled over Prowl's frame in response to those words. To be bonded to Optimus seemed like such an unfulfilled fantasy he had been trying to cope with. Slim chances aside, this was the opportunity they both had been hoping and waiting for. He'd regret it if they didn't at least try. "While I am securing us a shuttle to use, you distract Starscream and Ultra Magnus with a brief meeting to let them know you are fine and that you simply had an adverse reaction due to the Matrix."

"Well, I kind of did. That's not much of a cover story," Optimus replied.

"Telling them something closer to the truth while omitting the details about Primus will make lying easier for you." Prowl knew that Optimus' honesty was something that he simply couldn't help, so the best way to deceive was to give partial truth.

"All right then. I put my trust in you, Prowl." Optimus smiled warmly.

Prowl shyly smiled back. No matter how many times Optimus would say things like that to him, it always made him feel vaguely embarrassed and proud all at once. Gaining approval had always been important to him, and unlike most others in his life, Optimus had always made a point to voice his appreciation for all that Prowl did. "Then, let's set this plan into motion as soon as possible."

Optimus nodded in agreement.

…

Stealing a shuttle was a lot easier than Prowl expected. With the end of the war and the relative peace they all enjoyed, security was lax. Prowl hacked the database for the government building from a terminal near the shuttles' hangars and installed a virus Jazz had used many times during wartime to draw guards away from their posts. It would take over the computer terminals in the nearby area and display grainy footage of two mechs in the middle of interfacing. This usually resulted in guards being too busy staring at the screens to notice anything else and abandon whatever it was they were supposed to be guarding. While Prowl didn't approve of using such footage, he couldn't deny it always worked like a charm, and that it was a very Jazz-like distraction.

Prowl silently padded around the corner into the hangar area after activating the virus and ducked behind a piece of maintenance equipment. He carefully peered around the edge and just as he expected, the only two guards were both at the computer terminal with their optics fixed on the screen.

"You think we should report it?" one said.

"Heh, well, it won't hurt to wait until—whoa, heh! You see that?" the other replied.

Without making a sound, Prowl skirted past them and walked out onto the tarmac where several of the shuttles were parked. He quickly assessed the various options and spotted a small transport that looked like it had formerly been an Autobot medical transport. It was compact, easy to use, and above all else _speedy_. In no time, Prowl bypassed the engine's security locks, and it roared to life.

::Prowl to Optimus. The shuttle is secured. I will meet you at the appointed location.::

::Meeting just ended. Perfect timing as usual.:: Optimus replied.

Prowl piloted the shuttle to the edge of a residential area where several homes were still under construction and landed just outside the perimeter to wait. About a breem later, he spied Optimus on the main monitor casually walking down the street toward the shuttle. So far, the plan was going off without a hitch. That fact alone worried Prowl. This felt so easy. Too easy. Grimacing, Prowl felt the uncomfortable sensation of impending disaster creeping through his processor.

The small shuttle jostled slightly as Optimus climbed on board. "Hey there." Optimus slid into the co-pilot seat. "Medical shuttle, excellent choice," he said looking around.

Prowl watched Optimus and wondered if aiding him really had been the right choice. What if something did go wrong? They would be alone, and Prowl was far too small to drag Optimus back to the shuttle if he was injured.

"We should probably get going. The sooner I use the Matrix, the sooner I will be all yours." Optimus retracted his battle mask to reveal a bright-looking smile.

Prowl's spark quivered in his chest. He pressed his fingers to the center of his chestplate and glanced down. It was strange that it would vibrate like that now. Perhaps even the mere notion of possibly bond had been enough to set it off?

"You all right?" Optimus asked.

Prowl didn't have time to try and analyze why his spark had reacted, though. "I'm perfectly fine." He sat forward and reinitiated the thrusters, lifting the small shuttle into the air. It wouldn't be much longer before the security forces discovered the shuttle was missing, making it important to get away from New Vos in order to avoid sensor sweeps. "Let's go."

The shuttle shot forward, and Prowl took it in a wide arch around the new city, being sure to stay low and hopefully out of sensor range. As he cleared the edge of the merchant area, he pushed forward taking the most direct path he could to Iacon. In only a couple of breems the images of the destroyed former capitol played across the view screen, and Prowl set their small ship down. They quickly disembarked and Optimus for the tunnel that led deep underground. Prowl followed on his heels, keeping careful watch on Optimus for any odd behavior.

"Okay, the chamber we need is this way." Optimus made a sharp right down a very narrow corridor that branched off from the one that led to where the sphere was. "It should be just ahead." Optimus glanced over his shoulder and grinned at Prowl briefly before turning his attention forward again.

Nothing appeared out of place with Optimus' behavior at all. He seemed lucid and in good spirits. Still, Prowl couldn't shake the ever present feeling that something might go wrong at any moment and was trying his best to stay alert.

Suddenly, the darkness of the hallway lifted away. Light seemed to be all around them, but like the room with the sphere, no fixtures were visible anywhere. Optimus led Prowl to the end of the hallway where it dead-ended at a wall.

"Perhaps this wasn't the correct way?" Prowl asked, allowing his concern to bleed into his voice.

"It's the right way." Optimus sounded very sure of himself as he pressed his hand to the center of the wall that blocked their path. The wall split and parted, creating a doorway. "See? This is it."

Prowl stared with wide optics as they walked through the open doorway into a cavernous room. The ceiling vaulted upward overhead, there were ancient glyphs carved all over the rounded walls, and broken and dusty items littered the floor.

"Primus…" Optimus said in an awed voice.

Prowl's attention snapped to where Optimus was gazing. A slumped figure was seated on what might be described as a throne, with wires trailing off from each of his joints down another corridor on the opposite side of the room. This offlined 'being' looked exactly as Optimus had described. In front of the unmoving figure stood a waist-high podium with an indented shape that looked like it would perfectly match the Matrix. Prowl faintly shook his head. "This is _real_."

"Yes, very much so." Optimus took hold of Prowl's hand, lacing their fingers together and started to cross the large room toward the podium.

Prowl walked beside him, feeling like his processor might overheat as he tried to process what was happening. Everything Optimus claimed to have seen had been true. He felt relieved to know his love wasn't insane, and at the same time overcome by the gravity of the situation. If the avatar and podium from the memory Optimus saw were actual things, that also meant Optimus was about to free himself from the title of Prime. That thought made Prowl's spark flutter and swell in its chamber with anticipation. They were going to be together, _finally_.

Reaching the podium, Optimus unwound his hand from Prowl's and parted his chest plates. "This is it," he said as he gave Prowl a side-glance. "Ready?"

Prowl felt his doorwings perk up on his back. "Yes."

Optimus carefully lifted the Matrix free from his body. He made a soft grunting sound, then sheepishly smiled at Prowl. "Feels weird without it." He stepped forward and placed the Matrix into the slot intended for it. Lights that ran down each side of the podium lit up sequentially, then continued in an outward pattern along the floor. Prowl stared down at his feet where the intense lights were shimmering.

"Something's wrong," Optimus said in a rough voice.

Prowl's attention quickly shifted back to Optimus, who was wincing as he staggered backward. Any excitement or awe he felt drained away, replaced by a sharp-edged fear that took fierce hold of his spark. "Optimus! What is it?" He grabbed Optimus' arm tightly and pushed his smaller weight against the larger frame, trying to help steady him. "What's wrong?" Pain was written all over Optimus' face, and Prowl began to panic. "_Optimus!_"

"Prowl…I lo-" Optimus' optics went black, and he fell backwards, crashing to the ground and pulling Prowl down with him.

Prowl hit his chin hard on the edge of Optimus' chest upon impact. Ignoring his own pain, he quickly regained his bearings and got to his knees. "Optimus!" His gaze shifted to the still open chest plates of his love and the exposed spark inside. Prowl had seen plenty of sparks before. On the battlefield that was how they checked for survivors after firefight. Optimus' spark was pulsing erratically and looked faded and disorganized. "No…_no!_" Not again. Another one he loved was going to be ripped away from him. Why was fate so unfair to him? Anger, fear, and despair took over, and Prowl began to tremble uncontrollably. His vision tunneled as he stared at his love's unconscious face, realizing his life would be meaningless without Optimus in it. He leaned forward, grabbing tight hold of his one arm and squeezing hard. "No, _please!_ I don't want to live without you!"

"Spark merge with him."

Prowl shook his head. "He's going to die. I can't."

"If you spark merge with him, he will live. Your spark's energy will stabilize his."

Not even taking a moment to question the voice speaking to him, Prowl parted his chest plates and moved to straddle Optimus. If there was the slightest chance he could save him, then he was going to do it. He bent down and pressed their chests flush as he tucked his face in the crook of Optimus' neck. He felt his own spark expand and send tendrils outward into the disorganized and weakly pulsing spark of his one and only love.

"Don't leave me alone. Come back, Optimus. Please." Prowl felt tears of coolant pool on his optics and couldn't hold back the need to release his emotions. This was too much to take, and he started to openly sob. _Don't go! I need you. I love you. I don't want a life without you in it. Please, Optimus. Come back to me. _He called through his spark as it pushed further into Optimus'.

The memory file of the only other time he cried like this surged forward in his mind.

_Prowl walked into the home he had grown up in. A neighbor had contacted him to let him know his father had passed away and to come home. Upon hearing the news, Prowl left the Academy campus and hopped a tram shuttle to cross town. He practically ran down the streets to the home he had grown up in, and now here he was. _

"_This way," an officer said as he gestured._

_He stepped into the living area to see his adoptive father still sitting upright in his favorite chair, deceased. Prowl knelt beside the chair and ran his fingers over his father's arm, which was cold to the touch. "Father?" Something inside his spark seemed to break at that moment. Pain ripped through his spark as the magnitude of the situation hit him. First his creators were killed, leaving a deep scar on his spark, and now his adoptive father was gone too. _

_Prowl was alone in the world again. _

_Tears streamed down his face as he pressed his forehead against his father's cold hand. Losing his creators had been painful enough, but now losing the only mech that mattered to him? It was so unfair. Life was so unfair. _

Prowl's memory file abruptly ended when he felt large arms hug him tightly. His optics surged brightly as he tried to figure out what was happening.

'I had no idea you've dealt with so much loss in your life.'

That sounded like Optimus. Prowl then realized his spark and Optimus' were pulsing as one, steady and strong. He then spoke though their connected sparks. 'Optimus?'

'I'm here.'

'Don't you leave me!'

The large arms wound around Prowl gave him a gentle squeeze. 'Never again.'

'Optimus… I love you.'

'And I love you, Prowl.'

Energy from their joined sparks surged as their love for one another was shared in the most direct way possible. Being told he was loved was always a wonderful thing, but _feeling_ just how deep and expansive that love actually ran felt _incredible_. Prowl made a soft whining sound as he pushed all the love he felt into the light of their sparks. The sensation of sharing all their pent up emotions caused both their sparks to send a huge surge of energy rushing through their systems, setting off a very powerful and unexpected overload. Prowl groaned as he heard Optimus moan. However, their shared pleasure quickly ended with explosive surge of energy that knocked them offline.

…

Systems slowly started to reinitiate. His spark felt lighter than it had in eons, and there was something else…an unfamiliar sensation within his spark, which he quickly identified as a thread of Prowl's energy. _They were bonded_. He dimly lit his optics, focusing on the weight he felt over top of him. Prowl lay curled up on his chest deeply recharging. He noticed a dent in his love's chin and reached out to lightly run his fingertips over it. Prowl didn't respond to the touch.

"He will be offline for a while."

Optimus turned his attention in the direction of the unknown voice. The Primus avatar stood looking over his shoulder at Optimus. Just beyond where his looming figure stood was the huge video screen, playing back Optimus' memories. At the moment it showed Megatron calling him weak and soft sparked as they battled one another. His former nemesis' voice echoed in the large chamber. Primus turned to look back at the screen and waved a hand in the air, which paused the video on a still of Megatron snarling.

Primus walked over to where Optimus lay with Prowl on the floor. "Please remain where you are. Your savior here needs the extra rest." Primus then carefully lowered himself to sit on the floor beside them.

"Savior?" Optimus repeated.

"I never intended for the Matrix to be carried _inside_ your bodies. It had effectively bonded with your spark. The only way to save your life was for another to establish a new bond. Since your spark was so weakened, it took an extraordinary amount of spark energy to repair yours." Primus gazed at Prowl as he canted his head.

A surge of worry hit Optimus. "Did that damage his spark?"

"Oh, no. Sparks are quite resilient. He just needs rest." Primus smiled. "I never expected to witness my creations spark merge and overload. I have to say, it was quite beautiful."

Heat flashed over Optimus' face in embarrassment. They had overloaded right in front of _Primus_. At least they hadn't also been interfacing.

"Thank you for responding and reawakening me." Primus reached out and placed a hand on the top of Optimus' helm.

Despite knowing Primus was real, seeing his memories and experiencing his emotions, this moment felt completely surreal. "Thank you for giving us life," Optimus replied.

"Prima said that, too. Of course, you know that, don't you? I created you all for purely selfish reasons, though. I'm not sure I deserve praise, seeing how much you all suffered while I was in stasis." Primus vaguely shook his head. "You were almost obliterated because of my brother's vicious will."

Unicron? Optimus was confused; they had waged war against Megatron and his anti-government movement. "We descended into a civil war. That had nothing to do with Unicron," Optimus replied.

"A war precipitated by Unicron."

Furrowing his brow, Optimus tried to figure out Unicron's connection to their war. "I still don't quite understand."

"Oh, that's right! I didn't transfer all my memories to you for fear of accidentally overwriting your memory core." Primus warmly smiled. "Well, you see, the Matrix is much more than a key. It also recorded the world around it from the wearer's perspective, held a set of memories I placed in it, and identified and documented all energy signatures it was ever near. You fought with Megatron up close many times. Those insults he hurled at you sounded just like my brother's hurtful words. Out of curiosity, I accessed the Matrix's vast reservoir of information. Just as I suspected, the energy signature it recorded from Megatron is identical to my brother's, which leads me to believe that Megatron was _his_ child." Primus looked away for a moment, gazing across the large room. "I had no idea he could create a being. It appears he only made one, so it must have been an arduous task for him. I thought Unicron wanted to destroy me. But now I think he simply wants me to suffer, which is why he attempted to annihilate you all through war." Primus turned his attention back to Optimus. "And yet you all managed to survive and end Megatron's tyranny."

Optimus dimmed his optics. "The fliers were the ones to put an end to Megatron."

"Yes, but don't discount the conversation you had with the one called Thundercracker about keeping his sparkling. Your kindness touched him. Each of you contributed to ending Megatron's rampage." Primus softly stroked Optimus' helm. "I am very proud of all of you."

Meeting Primus was already amazing enough, but to have his approval and feel loved by him made Optimus beam inside with pride. "I hope we are all what you wanted us to be a species."

"Oh my, yes. Everything I wished for and so much more. Innovative with the designs I made, and much more hearty than I imagined… Will you promise me something, though?" Primus asked.

Optimus nodded.

"I don't want to be alone. Please lead others here. I want to meet you all. I especially want to see the little sparklings."

"Of course." Optimus smiled brightly at Primus, then he felt Prowl begin to stir. Glancing down, he saw Prowl staring with over-bright optics at Primus.

'Is that…Primus?' Prowl asked over their new bond.

'Yes, it is.' Optimus briefly glanced over at Primus who sat smiling warmly at them. A sense of complete awe rippled over their bond from Prowl in response. 'And he informed me that you saved my life. Thank you.'

Prowl's gaze shifted to Optimus. 'I'd do anything to ensure a life with you in it.'

'I think _life_ is going to be very different from this moment forward,' Optimus said as he allowed a wave of his love to pulse through the bond.

'I would say so.' Prowl silently replied with a small smile. 'It will be _our_ life.'

Optimus gently hugged Prowl. All the pain of being apart, their past hurts, and the strife that came with war had been wiped away. To be forever linked with Prowl was more than Optimus could have ever hoped for. He knew that no matter what lay ahead for them, they would have each other to rely on. The bond they had so desperately wanted was now theirs, which meant the possibilities were wide-open now. Light had blotted out the darkness, leaving them strong and ready to face the world _together_.

* * *

~Epilogue~

The Golden Era of Cybertron paled in comparison to the growth and expansion that occurred after Primus awoke. Energon was no longer in short supply, allowing them to rebuild at a quicker pace. Despite the renewal that blossomed across their home planet, Optimus and Prowl chose to remain on Earth for the time being. It had come to feel like home, and Optimus, being the kind-sparked mech he was, wanted to stay and help the humans with whatever they needed while also offering them protection. Prowl didn't care where he was so long as he was with Optimus.

Most of the crew that had been stationed on the Earth base before Primus awoke now rotated between both planets. At the moment, Jazz, Mirage and Miles were on base for their Earth stay, which had turned out to be extremely good timing due to personal life issues that had come up for Prowl and Optimus. For the next 3-5 orns, Jazz had been made temporary commander.

Prowl sat quietly on the couch reviewing reports from Jazz, unwilling to completely step down from all his duties. He needed a distraction to keep from going stir crazy, since he was currently spending all his time in their quarters.

He glanced at the stack of ultra pure energon cubes that were neatly piled beside the energon dispenser. _Almost time for another one_, he thought as he set the datapad down and got up. He walked to the dispenser and plucked a cube from the pile, then crossed the living area toward the berthroom. Just inside was the oversized berth, with Optimus curled up on his side recharging. For such a large mech, he looked awfully adorable balled up on the berth.

Prowl quietly padded across the space, then carefully sat on the edge of the berth and reached out to lightly run his fingers along one of Optimus' arms. His mate's optics dimly lit.

"Hey, there. Time for another one." Prowl scooted closer and offered the magenta-colored energon ration to Optimus.

"Already, hm?" Optimus unwound himself and pushed to sit up. He graciously took the offered cube and downed it in a few greedy gulps. As he finished, he glanced at Prowl and smiled.

Optimus looked so exhausted. As they had found out, being a larger mech with a slower spark meant that phase two of carrying was unusually taxing for his body. Optimus required much more recharge than the average carrier, and in order to be sure he was getting enough energon, it was Prowl's job to wake him at regular intervals and give him his ration. Prowl was more than happy to look after him, though. He would do anything to ensure his mate and soon-to-be sparkling got all they needed. "Would you like anything else?"

"Hm, you think maybe you could lay here with me a little while?" Optimus asked as he lay back on the berth and handed the empty container to Prowl. "You know, if you don't have too much work to do."

"Work can wait." Prowl placed the empty container on a side table, then pulled his legs up onto the berth and moved to lie beside Optimus. His body pressed against Optimus' side as he rested his head on the broad shoulder. He gazed across the expansive red chest and couldn't resist the urge to place his hand at the center. His white fingers lightly pressed at the center seam of Optimus' chest. Once upon a time this type of touch caused both their sparks to ache, but now it made Prowl's spark flutter with excitement.

"He's moving around. He must like it when you touch my chest there. It's kinda funny; I traded a Matrix for a sparkling," Optimus said with a small laugh.

Prowl smiled. "A more than fair trade, I'd say. And Ratchet said he responds to your spark, not my touch."

"Ah, but your touch always makes my spark happy, which is why he gets riled up." Optimus rested a hand over Prowl's. "I'm really looking forward to meeting him."

"I am, too."

A comfortable silence filled the room. This was the life Prowl thought he'd never have, and yet here he was a creator with a mate he loved.

The fear that once ruled Prowl's world had been swept away once they bonded. That sense of impending doom replaced by the unrelenting love Optimus constantly poured over their bond. For the first time since the day he lost his creators, Prowl felt like hope was his to share in, that the good things in life were now available to him. He would never take what he had for granted.

Optimus' hand slid away from Prowl's, and he glanced up to see his mate had already slipped back into recharge. Prowl smiled. "Rest up. We have a lot of life left to live together," he whispered. "And a new life to look after, too."

The future was bright, and Prowl planned to enjoy all it had to offer.

* * *

_A/N – Well, that's it, the end of the Regardless Universe series. Thank you to everyone that followed it along! ((hugs to you all)) _

_p.s. I have a drawing of Primus posted to my journal here: _pl2363 (dot) livejournal (dot) com (slash) 43146 (dot) html


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